Possession
by ShatteredStarveling
Summary: All her life Bella Swan has belonged to her best friend but as she gets older all she wants is for him to belong to her in return. Will she be able to win him over or will another be her only means of escaping her trapped life?
1. Chapter 1

**Year One**

My legs remained unstable underneath me as I kept my focus on the table. I remembered what mommy and daddy looked like every time they had done it. It had seemed easy enough yet every time I tried I always landed back on my butt. Thankfully my diaper would cushion me whenever I had a failed attempt, especially right now. Mommy and daddy never let me try on my own; that's probably why I couldn't walk yet. I glanced over to the boy as he successfully wobbled all around the living room. His face smiling; his eyes looking to me for a brief moment as he continued his smug show. He managed to do it effortlessly while I was still confined to the ground. His mommy and daddy were much calmer. It seemed every time I would even try to do something on my own they would hold my hands or arms. Not this time. Because of his little show all the adults in the room watched him on in amusement, thus I could finally do this without mommy or daddy reaching out to grab me.

I focused on my right leg first as I bent my knee and slowly pushed my foot forward. The carpet tickled my foot as it slid. I planted it firmly back on the ground still using the couch as my support. I waited a couple seconds satisfied at my stability. Another glance to the parents showed I was still free to continue with my experiment. I took another uneasy step planting the second foot beside the first. I didn't feel the backwards tilt and so I continued finally releasing the couch. One foot in front of the other. I focused on the table as my destination. If I could make it there I could make it anywhere. The boy stopped his show and looked at me with a smile. I continued my journey.

Mommy and daddy had now turned away from the boy and focused back on me. If I didn't hurry then they would surely stop me again. One foot. Two foot. One foot. Two foot. Mommy looked scared as she went to reach for me. Without thinking I picked up my pace trying to move faster to the table. If I could just get there. The boy's mommy reached forward and grabbed mommy's shoulder to stop her; a big toothy smile on her face. Their mouths were moving but I didn't understand what was being said. The boy continued to stare at me. But I had to do this. Mommy smacked daddy and he ran from the room coming back in with that boxy machine watching me with it. Whenever I had done something which pleased them that come out.

One foot. Two foot. One foot. Two foot. The table now only a few steps away. I had finally done it. As my fingers finally touched the wood I couldn't help to smile at my accomplishment. I looked to mommy and daddy as their faces showed me how happy they were that I had done it; without them. The boy now moved from the center of the room taking his graceful steps towards me. He didn't need the tables support to keep him upright. Honestly the trip from the couch to here had worn me out and I wanted to sit back down. From everything I'd discovered about this little test; walking wasn't very fun.

He stood by me now his bright green eyes staring at me strongly. I couldn't help but to smile at him. He made me feel just like mommy and daddy made me feel. He reached a hand out to me and wrapped his chubby fingers around my wrist and tugged on me softly. His hold was strong and safe. His eyes remaining on mine, 'Trust me'. I released the table. He walked slower than he had before for my benefit and tugged me across the room so that now we were both standing in the middle together. All the mommy's and daddy's were smiling talking to one another. I wonder if one day I would know what they were actually saying to me. Edward looked to the adults and then to me smiling.

"Mine." Just one sound came from his mouth. I just continued to smile as did he. Both our mommy's made that scared sound; like the sound mommy would make whenever I would try climbing up onto the living room table. They covered their mouths looking between him and me. The daddy's eyes grew real wide as they stared at the boy. I didn't like it when mommy and daddy were scared. I glared back at the boy and frowned pulling my hand from his. My balance wasn't quite ready for the loss of support as I fell backwards onto my butt. Now this was just annoying.

He frowned and stepped forward grabbing my hand again as he pulled me up and towards him, wrapping his other arm around my back. I had never been hugged by someone my size. Only the adults. He placed his head into my hair and sighed. "Mine." He whispered again. This time the mommy's looked much happier as they hugged each other; covering their own mouths. The daddy's had hands resting on each other's shoulders. Maybe this was a good thing then. 'Mine.' What did that mean?


	2. Chapter 2

**Year 7**

"Come on Edward! Give it back." I stomped my foot as I looked up at the bronze haired green eyed boy on top of my, I mean our, playhouse. He held my dolly tight in his right hand shaking his head. He had a half smile as he narrowed his eyes at me.

"What do you say?" His strong voice taunted. I often forgot Edward was my age. He reminded me daddy, like the way he would tell me to put the fish back in the water. I huffed twisting my fingers together as I looked down at my white plastic shoes.

"I'm yours and only yours Edward." He laughed.

"That's right. And how long are you mine and only mine?" I bit down on my bottom lip. His games were always so stupid. Why he made me say this was pointless. He knew I was only his.

"Forever and always." He hummed. I looked up as he smiled dazzling me with his bright white teeth and even brighter eyes.

"Good girl. Now come here." He leaned back from the railing disappearing. I sighed pushing forward into the playhouse. Edward had all the curtains closed making it hard to see where I was walking.

"Edward. Come on Edward. Where are you?" I sighed looking around seeing nothing in the dark.

"Right here love." He whispered. I jumped from him closeness falling backwards onto the chair. He gave a throaty laugh as he held out my dolly to me. I snatched it from his hand before he could take her away from me again.

"Jeesh Edward. Why do you always have to scare me?" He rolled his eyes looking at me expectantly. I sighed standing back up kissing his cheek. "Thank you Edward." He hummed satisfied sitting down. He patted his knee as I took my usual spot on his lap. He held my hand in his massaging my fingers.

"So Isabella how was school?" I frowned shaking my head. It was like he always knew. I tried my best to remain calm.

"Normal. Mrs. Reed gave me a gold star today! Aren't you proud Edward?" He laughed and nodded giving my hand a light squeeze.

"That's my girl. I am very proud of you. But you know that's not what I'm talking about." I began to chew on my lower lip again. He knew about Michael. He wasn't in my class this year. How did he know? I shrugged my shoulders anyway.

"What are you talking about Edward?" He sighed and hugged me in his arms rocking us back and forth. Even at this age he still managed to completely fold my body into his.

"Michael, Isabella. That's what I mean." As he spoke his grip tightened. He never liked it when I talked about Michael. In fact he never liked it when I talked about any of the other boys in my class. Edward had told all the boys last year I was his and that they weren't allowed to even talk to me. He had no problems with the girls, just the boys. Edward remained silent and patient as he waited for my answer. I knew he would keep us out here until my mother called us in for dinner. We were still far away from dinner.

"He only asked to use my glitter Edward. I promise." He hummed softly shaking his head.

"The idiot." He muttered. I gasped covering my mouth.

"Edward! That's a curse word. Mommy say's curse words aren't for ladies." He laughed shaking his head pushing his face into the back of my neck.

"Well it's a good things I'm not a lady then, isn't it?" I nodded. Maybe he would… "What did he say to you after that Isabella? Come on. I already know." He always knew. How did he know? I never understood the way Edward was able to always push himself into my brain and know exactly what I was thinking.

"Edward, please. It's nothing. Can't we just keep on playing?" He was quiet. I tried to turn to face him but his arms remained strong in keeping me in place. This would happen whenever we were together. We would start playing together and then he would get real angry about the other boys in my class.

"What did he say Isabella?" He said again slowly. I huffed. And why did he always use my full name? Mommy and Daddy didn't even use my full name anymore; not unless I was in trouble.

"He just said that I looked pretty today in my new dress." Why was it so wrong to say I looked nice? I liked looking nice. His grip tightened further. Now my stomach felt like he was going to squeeze everything out of it. "Edward you're hurting me." I whispered. His arms released me instantly. He gave a soft apology running his hands through his messy hair. I sighed standing up holding my dolly in my arms. Well if he wouldn't play with me then I at least had dolly to play with me. I took a step towards the door but his hands pulled me back.

"Please. Wait. I'm sorry. I just don't like the other boys talking to you. I'll stop being angry now." I nodded feeling the urge to hug him. He already had his arms around me before I could move.

"It's alright Edward. I just don't know why you get that way. They're just icky boys. You're the only one who isn't icky." He laughed and nodded smoothing my hair against my head.

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just you're only mine and I don't like it when they don't listen to me. I'm going to have to talk to Mike again it seems." I rolled my eyes knowing it would be no good trying to talk him out of it. Edward did what he wanted to do. "Enough with this Michael talk. I have a new game for us to play." I nodded as he gently removed the doll, which I'd fought so hard to get back, from my hand and set her down on the table. He smiled grabbing my hands swinging them between us.

"What's the game Edward?" He chuckled pulling me up to his chest staring down at me. I could feel my cheeks heat up as I looked away.

"Look at me Isabella." I sighed and looked back up at his smiling face. He nodded. "Husband and wife." I nodded slowly not entirely sure what the two words meant. He just started laughing already knowing my confusion. I huffed pulling away ready to storm out of the playhouse. I would just ask daddy what a husband and a wife were then!

"You're always so mean Edward." He made a soft growl noise as he grabbed onto my arm pulling me back into the house using his other hand to wrap around my waist so I was tight against his body. He dropped his head to my shoulder.

"A husband and wife is another way to say daddy and mommy. You know how we normally play with the dolly?" He paused waiting for my answer. Edward was so strange. Always coming up with new games. First it was mommy and daddy. We would both take care of the dolly together; just like how mommy and daddy would take care of me. Then it was brother and sister. This game really wasn't much different than any other day. Mommy was always saying how Edward and I were going to be together our entire lives. We were born on the same day and had been together our whole lives. Mommy said he was like my brother because we were so close together. I nodded.

"Well this time it will be without the dolly. Instead we'll play with each other." I giggled shaking my head.

"Edward that doesn't sound like very much fun. Mommy and daddy don't do anything fun." He hummed turning me around.

"That's not true Isabella. Mommy's and daddy's have lots of fun." I placed my hands on my hips.

"How?" He hummed softly and grabbed my chin between his thumb and finger. I froze. "What are you doing Edward?" He just smiled as he leaned down. This was something I'd seen mommy and daddy do all the time. Mommy had said it was a way to show love. Just like they would kiss me; to show me love. His eyes closed just as his lips touched mine softly. My face went warm again as he held my head in place. Everything tingled as Edward's minty grassy smell filled my nose. I copied him and allowed my eyes to close too as we stood still. Edward and I had never done this to show our love. I know I loved Edward because he was my brother. Before now we'd only hugged and held hands and sometimes Edward would kiss my forehead like mommy. But I didn't mind this. It made my lips feel funny. I couldn't help but smile. Edward chuckled as he pulled back. I reopened my eyes. We stood looking at each another for another few quiet minutes.

"Bella! Edward! Dinner!" I jumped startled forgetting where I was. He hummed pulling me into a hug resting his head on top of my head.

"Edward?" He hummed looking down at me. "That was my favorite game yet." I whispered feeling embarrassed. He rubbed my back softly kissing the top of my head.

"Mine too, my Isabella." I giggled squeezing him tightly before removing myself from his arms and grabbing dolly as I left our little playhouse back to the real house. I looked back to see Edward walking calmly with his hands in his pockets smiling, watching me carefully. My Edward.


	3. Chapter 3

**Year 14**

"Moooooom! Why do I have to go? No one there will like me anyway." Mom sighed as she pulled my hair back into a tight ponytail. Alice was having a birthday party tonight and the only reason she invited me was because she felt pity for me. I'm sure Lauren and Jessica only convinced her to so they could make fun of me. And if that wasn't the worst of it all, Michael was going to be there. He was always trying to, what I think, flirt with me and touch me where he shouldn't. If Edward had seen him yesterday; but I didn't dare tell him, even though I'm sure he knew anyway. Tyler Crowley still avoided eye contact afraid that Edward would punch him again. His possessiveness was frustrating and flattering. My brother always sticking up for me.

"Bella, sweetie. You have to try and put yourself out there. Trust me. Not everyone is out there in order to make a fool out of you. Granted you may be right about Lauren and Jessica but Alice is a sweetheart and she invited you because she wants you to go. How do you ever expect to get a boyfriend if you never get out there?" My cheeks heated at the word. Mom started laughing as she tugged on the freshly tied back hair.

"Moooom!" I moaned. She hummed standing up. I looked myself over. A little bit of makeup and clothes which didn't look they belonged to a football player and I managed to look like the other girls in my class. She held out my jacket standing in the doorway. I knew she would never let me get out of this one. I stood following her downstairs. Dad sat on the couch watching the football game.

"Charles, I'm taking Bella to her first non-parental teenage party; did you want to say anything?" Mom said pointedly. Dad sighed looking over his shoulder giving a brief smile.

"You look nice Bells. Have fun. No boys." He said sternly. My mother smiled rolling her eyes. Again my face flamed. Why did everyone here think I was going to become the new Lauren? I hadn't even kissed a boy yet, unlike the majority of my peers. Thanks Edward.

"Don't worry dad. If Edward has anything to do with it I won't be kissing a boy for the rest of my life." I laughed but they remained silent and almost…concerned. Mom opened the door and dad turned back to the T.V. I could feel the tension in the air. We slid into the car and mom began to drive towards Alice's. The sun was resting against the far horizon as the moon continued its chase.

Edward had always said he and I were like the sun and moon. I was so bright and he was so dark. He would forever chase me so that I would be able to light up his darkness. And only I could. I was his only sun. And he would forever be my only moon.

"Bella, I have to ask you something." I looked up over to mom quirking one of my eyebrows. "I know you don't want to ever hear these words coming out of my mouth but I have to ask." She paused choosing her words carefully. Why do I know where this was going? "Are you and Edward…intimate?" My eyes began to expand and I thought my face was going to explode with the amount of blood which rushed to my cheeks. Gah! My mother was oblivious sometimes!

"Gross. No mom. Edward and I aren't like that. He's just…" I stopped trying to find the right word. Protective, possessive, safe, brotherly, loving. So many words unable to fit the complexity which was Edward. She sighed seeming to relax a bit.

"I'm sorry. It's just the way you two are around each other. It's fascinating really. He moves you move. Like magnets. Never out of arms reach. The silent conversations you two seem to have. I just need to know that whatever is going on is…healthy. You would tell me if something was wrong right?" Again I didn't want to be talking about any of this. Edward and I were perfectly healthy. Sure some thought we were a little closer than a brother and sister should've been, but screw em'. Edward and I have been together our whole lives and what we had was something no one would be able to comprehend. He was unique. We were unique. And truth be told I think they were all just jealous they didn't have their own Edward. Someone there to love them, to keep them safe, to have protect, and feel wanted. Granted he's gone a bit too far at times and he's shoved one too many innocent boys who've tried talking to me in his presence, but he'd never do that to me!

"Healthy mom. Entirely healthy." Was all I could say. She could never understand. Dad doesn't. Forks doesn't. I would be shocked if there was one person on this planet who would understand besides Edward or me. An outsider sees Edward as pushy and touchy and rude. I've heard it over and over, even from my own parents. His need for touch comes with his own comfort as well as my own. I wouldn't mind so much if he let up on the possessiveness and snide comments to every person I interact with but Edward came first and always would.

Truthfully, I could admit to myself the little crush I've grown for him. I would never do or say anything! He was always lighted as my brother; both to myself and the rest of this town but still, I loved the unique and personal relationship we'd created.

As I pulled from my thoughts I'd realized we were parked out front of Alice's house. Kids from class were walking into the house leaving their parents behind. Mom nudged my shoulder.

"Go. Have fun. I'll be back around 9. Oh, and Esme called and said Edward was going to be a little late. Maybe then you'll be able to get your flirt on. Michael seems to really like you." Cue blush. I groaned as I slunk out of the car leaving her laughing behind me.

Once I heard my door close behind me and my mother drive off, the nerves set in. My stomach turned in the harshest way as I looked up at the house knowing what was waiting for me inside. Strangers who either hated me or envied me, boys with the mindset of children, Lauren and Jessica, but worst of all no Edward.

Alice's spiky head poked out from the door and a wide smile sprawled across her face as her eyes laid on me. I had to do a quick look around to make sure she wasn't staring at someone else; a quick assessment had confirmed she was indeed staring at me.

"Bella!" She shouted jumping from behind the door as she came flying at me. Her tiny body latched onto mine tightly. I couldn't help but to find some amusement in her reaction. Even if it was a farce, I mentally laughed at using that word. Mrs. Jinweiss did say we would find ourselves using those vocabulary words.

"Hello to you too Alice." She looked around for a split second and looked back up to me confused.

"Where's Edward?" I smiled as my stomach dropped. Of course I wasn't the one she was excited to see. It wasn't often we were seen without one another. Bella was just another word for Edward.

"He's going to be a little late. He will be here though." She nodded grabbing my hand tightly as she towed me back up her driveway towards the house. Some of my least favorites watched us through the window. Lauren and Jessica scowling and Michael just short of drooling. Dog.

"Perfect. That means I can talk to you before he gets here." I furrowed my eyebrows. That threw me off. Talk to just Bella? That couldn't be something good.

"About what exactly?" She laughed shaking her head standing on the porch dropping her voice to a whisper.

"Are you and Edward dating?" The bubble of laughter slipped past my lips. I shook my head. No one until today had asked of Edward's and my relationship. I wonder why all of the sudden…Maybe Alice had wanted to make sure she wasn't stepping on any toes, mine in particular. As much as he wasn't mine to claim, a pang of jealousy embedded itself in the pit of my stomach.

"No Alice. Edward and I aren't dating. He and I are more like brother and sister. We look out for each other." Her eyebrows pinched together in confusion. I just wanted to die.

"Bella, the way he looks at you is not how Emmett looks at me. There's something there. Something…primal. Surely you must see it." I sighed shaking my head. Get on with it Alice. I can already see where this is going.

"No Alice. There really isn't anything going on. He's yours to take." Her eyes grew wide as she blushed looking at the ground.

"Oh gosh Bella I'm sorry if that's the way I made it sound. I don't have any interest in Edward. Honest! I just wanted to have a better understanding. It seems like I have a pretty good grasp on all the other people in this town…but you two. I can't figure it out. He's different. You're different." Relief. Alice wasn't trying to date Edward. I didn't know what that would mean for me if she or any other girl finally captured his eyes away from me. A lot less Edward I was sure. I never really thought of the day that would happen but it would surely have to be soon. We couldn't just be Edward and Isabella forever. He would want more. Hell I would want more! And even now it was clear how the female population thought of Edward. Alice grabbed my attention, "But keep an eye on Jessica and Lauren. They're quick to steal what's not theirs to have." She winked. I opened my mouth to argue but the front door opened up to Alice's mother looking impatient.

"Mary Alice, you have guests in here remember." I stepped forward and reached my hand out. She looked at me stunned grabbing my hand firmly. Divert the situation.

"Hello Mrs. Brandon. I'm Isabella Swan, Chief Swan and Renee's daughter. Thank you so much for having me." Her smile became blinding as she stared at me in awe. Alice hummed softly looking at me with curiosity. She leaned back from the doorway and motioned into the house.

"Please just Sara will do sweetie. And you are more than welcome. Anytime. Having you around would be an absolute delight." I nodded stepping into the house Alice following close behind me. Sara walked into the kitchen to continue tending to the food.

"That was impressive. You must've learned the dazzling technique from Edward." I rolled my eyes. I could, usually, hardly keep composure long enough to get my words out. Edward was in a whole other league. The boy just had to look at me and he managed to get me to admit anything to him. It was frustrating AFTER he'd already gotten his way; during I was putty in his damned hands. You'd think after all these years I would've been able to grow some kind of resistance to it…I would've thought so too. And on top of that, it seemed like he got some sick satisfaction out of seeing me squirm.

We walked into the next room everyone going silent as we entered. Angela and Bed sat with kind smiles on the loveseat. Lauren and Jessica perched on stools around the coffee table. Mike and Tyler shifting their eyes between all the girls in the room, often lingering on me. Neither Alice's brother Emmett nor our classmate Rosalie were anywhere to be seen; they must've found interest in another room. It wasn't hard to see their…interest with each other. A few of the other students from our class were also scattered around the room but names I didn't know or care to learn.

No one spoke. Just stared. This is exactly what I hated. Social gatherings were the worst when it came to me. I knew they weren't seeing me, they were seeing Edward. Thinking about Edward. My hand instinctually twitched out to my side seeking Edward's touch. Get a grip Bella, Edward can't always save you. This is where you're going to need to learn how to cope without him. Next year we'll be going to the high school and then what? I'll be without him most of my days. This was the first step to figuring my shit out.

"Oh Bella! So glad you could make it." Lauren's venom dripping from her sickly high pitched voice. Her bright yellow shirt looked as though it were made for a 4 year old as it hugged her well developing breasts and flat torso. Her minimal coverage shorts didn't leave nearly enough to the imagination. Clearly why most of the boys in the room couldn't tear their eyes off her ass. It seemed my development was coming at a much slower rate. Boobs, yes. Spectacular, no. I just continued to smile taking the higher ground. Once I was through with school Lauren and this town would only be a distant memory from my childhood and I would be able to forget all about it. Right now I just had to cope.

"Yea. Thanks." She smiled at me wickedly doing a deft glance behind me, her face falling without seeing what her true target was. Her eyes darkened as she focused back on me. No Edward meant no distraction but also no meant safety. Perfect.

Alice reached out and grabbed my hand, my body relaxed. Thank God. I needed something here; Alice would do. She pulled me onto one of the couches. Everyone sat in an awkward silence as their unvoiced questions about Edward swarmed my head. I was quickly regretting ever coming here. Damn it Edward.

"So where's Edward, Bella?" Jessica perked up even just saying his name. I sighed and shook my head. It was like Bella didn't even exist anymore. I was the messenger. Alice patted my knee and leaned forward.

"He'll be here in a little bit. Come on, let's play a game." Lauren gave a pissed off sigh as she leaned back shaking her head. Michael took the opportunity to sit off to my free side as Tyler sat across from me, his eyes freely roaming my body. Every inch of me bristled from the situation. My hand reached out squeezing Alice's uncomfortably. I always hated the way they looked at me; like a prize to win at the fair. I was used to Edward's unconditional and ever strong emerald one. Alice glanced to our hands first as her smile spread and then looked at me happily before snapping a bitch glare to Tyler effectively stopping his mental undressing.

Edward has always been my only way of finding comfort but Alice seemed to take it in stride. Over the years it seems physical contact has become a socially strange form of communication. Instead people found it easier to simply shut out the world and isolate themselves. That's why so many people had issues with his constant touching and holding…I think.

"Hey Bella how are you?" Mike asked in a hushed voice as her reached his hand out to brush his fingers against mine on the couch. I pulled back. But his touching was asking for a fight from Edward.

"I'm fine Mike. You'd better hope you're not sitting here when Edward shows up." He just rolled his eyes trying to look tough as he laid backwards against the couch. I could see him shiver just hearing his name though. A smug smile sat on my face. Always with me.

I turned to the devilish duo and Jessica reached into her purse pulling out an empty glass bottle placing it on the table. There was only one game which required a bottle. My stomach and heart dropped. I thought they only did this in movies? For the first time in my life, I prayed Edward didn't show up.

"I dunno Jessica…"Alice whispered. It was reassuring that I wasn't the only one uncomfortable with this.

"Come on Alice. This will be fun. Trust me." Lauren purred. Alice looked over her shoulder to the kitchen nervously and gave a single nod. I guess neither of us were brave enough to stand up against her yet. Lauren glanced to Mike. He chuckled reaching forward to the bottle resting his grubby little fingers on it before flicking his wrist into a spinning motion. Alice squeezed my hand. As I looked over at her she tipped her head. What was that supposed to mean? She stood and walked over to the cooler grabbing a soda before coming back sitting on my opposite side nudging me over. I chuckled as I slid to the other end of the couch and she kindly plopped herself in my vacant seat. The bottle came to a slow stop pointing at Alice. Right where I would've been. Lauren slit her eyes looking between both of us. Alice shrugged her shoulders looking to Mike. He continued to keep his eyes trained on me. Like she planned the whole thing. Alice puckered her lips waiting for him to get it over with. I envied her confidence; right now I felt like I was going to burst from anxiety.

"That's not fair. You took Bella's spot." Mike protested as he continued to stare at me. My face was growing hotter by the second. My palms began to sweat. Of course he wouldn't just let it go. I had never kissed a boy before but I was positive that Mike wasn't my first option. Alice just laughed.

"What does it matter? The bottle landed on me. Take your kiss or continue on with it." She snapped. He looked to his accomplice. Bastard.

"Alice the rules are no one is allowed to move once the bottle has been spun. Bella has to kiss Mike." My tongue and mouth went dry. I'm pretty sure that was just a rule she made up for this particular instance. But then again I wasn't well played in this area. Alice placed her hands on her hips shaking her head.

"No it's not and you know it Lauren. Besides it's my party and I get to say what the rules are." Lauren wasn't one just to back down from a challenge however. She stood from the ground and turned her hawk eye to me. What the hell did I do?

"Fine Alice. If you want to be a cheater." Alice just continued to give her signature sweet smile as she stared Lauren down. Jessica tugged on Lauren's hand pulling her back to the ground. Alice turned her attention back to Mike. Now he just looked annoyed. I on the other hand felt I had been saved by an angel. Bless Alice. I guess mom was right about her after all.

"Pass. This game is lame. Next person." Mike resigned sitting back. I squeezed Alice's hand thankfully.

"Mom entering with food." Mrs. Brandon stated before walking into the room. Alice sighed relived leaning into my side as far away from Mike as possible. Another relief I wasn't the only one who found him repulsive; every other girl found him 'dreamy'.

Sara placed pizza, popcorn, chips, and other various treats onto the table. "Oh look, trash." She smirked and grabbed the bottle before walking out of the room not saying anything more about the bottle; I'm sure knowing full well what it was that we were using it for. Alice and I chuckled.

"Thanks," I whispered. She nodded.

"Anytime." I nodded. She didn't realize how true that may be.

"Ugh. Fine then. I guess we'll just have to play a game without using the bottle. Bella?" I groaned softly. Why was I such a big target today? I just looked on silently. "Let's play 'Are You Nervous'." I nodded slowly pretending like I knew what it was. Alice didn't seem like she was registering the game either.

"How do you play that game Jess?" Tyler rubbed his hands together looking at me. I was just about getting ready to call my mother and leave. Whether they were sincerely trying to show interest or simply trying to placate their horny interests, I was not going to be involved in either. I mentally giggled at my second vocab word of the night, placate. Focus Swan this is live or die right now.

"It's simple really. Just a game of placing hands on the top of someone else and asking 'are you nervous' as you slowly move them lower, and lower, and lower. Once they admit to being nervous they lose and a new game starts. If they can get through the entire body then they win. Since Bella was cheated out of her turn in the last game then she gets first round in this game. What do you say Bella?" That familiar sinking feeling took me over again. I imagined myself curled up in the corner of my room. Overlooking the black forest. A copy of Wuthering Heights in my hand as I spent my Friday night how I wanted to. Not being subjected to this witch hunt. I shook my head slowly.

"I don't know Jessica. That's not really my kind of game." I had imagined myself strong and confident as I blatantly told her no. I guess we can all dream. She gave her signature bitch smirk and rolled her eyes.

"That's fine. You don't have to…If you're too scared to." Lauren jabbed. A small amount of anger flared as I stood.

"I'm not scared to. I just think that this game is stupid. I don't see you jumping up to play." And while you're at it Bella start digging your grave. She rolled her eyes at the challenge.

"Face it. You're just upset that it's not Edward who's playing with you." My face heated.

"That's not what it's like between us. We're just best friends."

"In which case you wouldn't be wrong in letting another boy touch you then. Or is it because you're just so ignorant to all of this that you honestly don't know what to do." I tried to hide the embarrassment. That hit a chord. It's not like Edward leaves much room for…practice.

"Cut it out Lauren. This isn't your party. Bella doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to. Go get groped if that's what you want but leave us out of it." I could already see the victory glowing in her eyes. This set something off. I was done being the frail protected one. For once I wanted to have the same confidence that Edward and Alice had easily shown.

I unzipped my jacket and tossed it onto the couch standing with my hands on my hips.

"Alright then. Let's get this over with." She actually looked shocked for a second as she sat back down on the ground. Tyler stood with a smirk rubbing his hands together. Oh lord, what had I just done? If Edward hears about this…

"Great. Let's get started shall we." Alice tugged on my hand.

"You don't have to do this Bella." I just shook my head. I had to in order to prove something. As sad as it was I had to sink to their level. Jeesh, talk about selling yourself short. As Tyler took his stance before me the guilt began to pile on. His hands now resting on top of my head. Even here I could feel my heart start to beat faster. I could see my mother and father looking at me with such disapproval. Edward; his piercing eyes fuming.

"Are you nervous, Bella?" I shook my head.

"Nope." For the quivering my insides were doing, my voice was oddly firm. He hummed lowering his hands to my cheeks. His smile growing wider by the second. His thumbs ran a small tracts into my flesh as he swiped them back and forth. I kept my eyes trained on his refusing to show weakness.

"Are you nervous?" He whispered. Lauren and Jessica were snickering behind their hands. Alice huffed rubbing her face frustrated. I shook my head keeping my face straight.

"No." I wanted to die. He hummed.

"I much prefer you without Edward around." He laughed picking up his hand and dropping them to my neck. "Are you nervous?" I tried saying no but my brain was shouting danger and stop; so I just shook my head. Mike leaned forward on his seat knowing what would be coming up.

"Seriously guys, my parents are here." I was really hoping Alice's parental threat would work but he continued to drop his hands down onto my collar bone. I'm sure he could feel my heart pounding. His tongue slipped out licking his bottom lip. He waited a moment keeping his hands planted firmly against me. Everyone in the room seemed shocked at my boldness; I bet many of whom wouldn't have let this go on for so long. In all honesty I shouldn't have either. I really should stop this. We all knew what was coming next and honestly I didn't want his grubby hands anywhere near that part of me.

"Are you nervous?" I would tell him to stop here.

"No." Say what?! What the hell was my brain doing? He laughed picking his hands up off of my collarbone hoovering them over my breasts. What do I get myself into? 20 minutes without Edward's supervision and I was in the pre-stages of being groped.

"You have no idea how long I've been thinking about doing this to you." His hands slowly inched forward. I stopped breathing as I froze still. My heart pounding into overdrive. Face flooded with every drop of blood in my body. His touch just registering on my shirt as he pushed forward painfully slow. I'm sorry Edward.

"Crowley if you value your life you will retract your hands immediately." Tyler's eyes grew wide in fear. I let a small smile sprawl across my face. Perfect timing. He slowly dropped his hands from my body adverting his eyes to something very interesting on the wall. Lauren and Jessica were licking their lips while staring at our newest addition to the party. Everyone in some emotion between being completely turned on, shocked, and even afraid.

"Oh thank the lord." Alice sighed relieved. My face began to finally cool down.

"Isabella come here." Almost. Of course I wasn't going to be getting out of this completely free. I sighed turning around slowly towards his voice. I stared as he stood regally against the doorframe, looking nothing short of a model in all of his 14 years of age. Tight black shirt which curved around his pectorals and flat abdomen. Dark blue jeans which hugged his muscular lean thighs and flared down his well-toned calves. His arms crossed before him as he kept his eyes trained on mine. My brain fogged over as I lost myself in his bright green orbs. Alice tugged on my hand snapping me back to reality.

"Thank you." I whispered as I stepped around the couch towards Edward. His face unchanging as he took in my appearance. I felt like a child about to be punished; even worse I felt as though I deserved it. He saved me from having horrible nightmares of Tyler's hands on my body but this was turning out not to be much better.

I stood before Edward keeping my eyes trained on his black tennis shoes. He sighed dropping his left arm down to his side while the right tucked itself under my chin lifting my face to meet his eyes again. Greener than even our lush forests. Never ending. His amazing way to stun and make me completely forget what it was I was doing. Except now.

"Well?" He whispered. I tipped up onto my tip toes and gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek before resting my mouth beside his ear.

"I'm sorry. Only yours. Don't worry." He nodded reaching out to wrap me in his arms. Instantly the warmth and safety enveloped me.

"Don't forget it." His hands lifted momentarily to release the elastic band had on my hair. Oversight was not something Edward experience. "And what did I tell you about your hair?" He hated my hair up. Whenever mom would put my hair up Edward would be just as quick to take it back down. She never believed me when I told her it was Edward so I just took the blame after a few years. "Why would Edward care about my hair," she would say. I still wondered the same thing.

He released all but my hand towing me into the living room and taking my spot on the couch. I sat down in his lap leaning back against his chest. Edward turned his attention to Mike lifting an eyebrow. He stood without another word walking to sit dejectedly by Tyler. He clasped his hands around my front.

"Thank you Alice for keeping an eye on her and doing what you could." She giggled and looked away. Like I needed a babysitter.

"You do." He whispered. How does he do that?!

"You're welcome Edward. I really tried." He hummed into the back of my head. Lauren took the opportunity to take the open spot beside him. I rested my hands on top of his. After everything she'd just put me through in addition to the reprimand I was sure to be getting later, her closeness was not what I wanted right now. He laughed squeezing me tighter. Alice took pity and put on some music breaking the awkward silence. People began to talk amongst themselves again while still keeping tabs on what was happening on our couch. Lauren leaned in towards Edward trying to be, what I think she saw as sexy, it was really just sad in my opinion.

"Edward. So glad you could make it. Maybe you and I could have some fun after you're done babysitting." I bit the inside of my cheek fighting the urge to turn and smack the bitch. I get that we're not dating but did she really have to throw in my face just how non-dating we were. Edward's thumb rubbed small circles on my stomach.

"Maybe some other time Lauren. Tonight I'm going to be otherwise occupied teaching my _baby_ a lesson." I groaned. He sounded so evil. Lauren gave a girly huff as she stood to go and pout with Jessica across the room. Evil glares getting thrown my way every now and again.

"Edward. I told you I'm sorry. They were very pushy." I whispered. He remained silent as he watched the other party goers. I snuggled down onto his lap getting comfortable; it was becoming apparent that this was going to be my permanent seat for the night. Edward gave a soft groan as he further tightened his grip across my waist.

I feel ridiculous. I can't believe I was actually on the verge of being molested against my will. There was no doubt now why I had to have Edward keeping an eye on me at all times. And my inability to defend myself is probably another reason why he hasn't shown any interest in me past that of a good friend. I was far too young for him, mentally and, out of my own control, physically. Edward was in a whole new league of his own when it came to women and relationships.

Sure he tells me all the time that he's never had an "official" girlfriend and that he only has eyes for me…but I wasn't stupid. I saw Edward just like every other girl in this room; Edward had to be _experienced_ whereas I was far from it. Hell! Tyler Crowley was about to be my first official boob grab.

Edward held me as we watched various games commence and end; some of which I was permitted to participate in so long as it was innocent. I was willing the clock to move faster and by the grace of God 9 came eventually. I was done listening to the snide whispers, getting glares, and Edward's growing impatience. I turned to tell him my mother was probably outside but he stood up with me first pulling me to the front door.

"Thank you for your hospitality Alice." Edward said softly as he opened the door allowing me through first. She smiled giving us both a waive before Edward shut the door. I sighed seeing the driveway clear of my mother. Edward pulled me down onto the porch steps to sit while we waited. I lean my head against his shoulder.

"Did you have a fun night?" He whispered into the top of my hair. My anger flared at the ridiculous question. How could he honestly think that tonight was fun?! Between being greatly embarrassed in front of everyone, getting treated like a child, being confined to one seat all night, and to top it off having to endure every single girls' flirting touches and words this was going to top one of the worst nights I've had to live through!

"It was alright." Was my brilliant answer. Edward began to laugh as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Now now Isabella. You and I both know you're lying to me. What's bothering you? If it's about that Tyler thing, I will not apologize. I saved you from something which you would've later regretted. Aside from that, what is wrong?" I frowned shaking my head. There was never a safe thought in my brain. I tried and tried, he always saw right through me. I suppose the only way to get over this is the truth. Maybe then I can stop being his sidekick and something better…more. Even if it's just being my own person.

"I live in your shadow Edward. No matter where I go, people don't see me. They see only you. They wonder where you are. They want to know what's going on with you and how you're doing. They could give a shit about me. I want to be someone Edward, not simply your defenseless, simple, weak little sister." I paused waiting for some kind of verbal reprimand. He just hummed softly.

"Go on." That was not what I was expecting. But if I didn't keep talking now I would never get all this out. Edward was normally too intimidating for me to speak my mind.

"It's the same thing every time Edward. The stares and whispers. Boys too afraid to be near me and girls jealous of me. I can't stand being this object which is either coveted and off limits or simply fenced off into a world of its own; the only interaction I get is from you. Your attention and yet lack of affection is mind boggling to me. And the sad thing is I can't imagine a day going by without seeing you.

But I think you and I are on separate levels with this Edward. You will never be able to fully understand how I feel about you. Hell I myself have a hard enough time with it." I was barely above a whisper by the end of my rant. I was getting dangerously close to admitting feelings I was happy to keep boxed up until now. I wanted so much more and at times I thought he did too, but then at other times he seemed like he could care less; like with Lauren earlier. If I hadn't been sitting there what would he have said to her?

Edward's breathing came harsh as my head rose and fell against his chest. I sighed rubbing my hand up and down his arm soothingly. It wasn't my intention to get him worked up. It was hard keeping those feelings in check all the time. Especially when he and I were this close. After tonight I was just go back to being simple shadow Bella until Edward grew tired of me and then he could do his own thing and so could I.

Edward's breathing calmed down as I continued my arm rubbing. Where the hell was my mother? I just wanted this awkwardness to end now. Normally he and I were in sync, but tonight… He pulled back slowly and dropped his head down to face me. His hands now cradling my face gently between them. The familiar fog beginning to take over my brain as I stared up into his bright green eyes. "Do you want me?" Say what? His eyes seeming so sad now as I looked up at him. Of course I wanted him but there was no way the way I wanted him was the same way that he wanted me. I was his best friend and he was the man to love me more than I would ever be by another person but one day I was going to have to live with watching him walk away from me.

"Want you how Edward?" I whispered. He opened his mouth his lips parting slightly as he leaned in towards me. My breathing stopped as his minty cedar smell flooded my brain. I was 7 all over again. His hands guided my face closer our faces now only a couple inches apart. The warmth of his face only further mucking up my coherency. Every panic mechanism in my body went off at how inexperienced I was in this area. Side note, it's not like Edward had left much room for me to experiment. His thumbs began to move back and forth against my cheek relaxing my body. It was Edward. If there was one person I knew wouldn't hurt me it would be him. I closed my eyes trying to allow instincts to work for me here. Dear God don't let me fuck up too badly.

Edward rested his forehead against mine rolling it back and forth slowly. "Bella." He whispered. My whole body shook at the desperation in his voice. He called me Bella. I smiled.

Bright lights flashed across the left side of my face causing my eyes to open. Edward and I both looked to see my mom's red Corolla now parked in the driveway. He sighed and stood extending a hand out to me.

"Come on Isabella. Your mom is waiting." Is this really going to be the end to this? We were so close. I sighed grabbing his hand standing from the porch walking behind him to the car. We were so close to finally letting something go but I was sure this was going to be the last time Edward was going to drop his shield and I was going to have enough courage to say something. That was it and now it was snubbed out by my mother's headlights. Of all the times she chose not to be extremely late.

I placed my hand on the door handle about to open it but Edward's came down on top of mine. He pulled me in for a tight hug. I sighed. I suppose having Edward in my life would have to be enough for me. His chin rested on my shoulder soft breaths causing goosebumps to rise. "Leave your window open." He whispered. I pulled back giving him a questioning look. He winked opening the door for me. I dropped down onto the chair staring up at him. My mother leaned over the consul and gave him a measuring stare.

"Hello Edward. Are you coming home with us?" It wasn't an odd thing for Edward to come and stay the night at our house; which just made it that much more confusing. Why wouldn't he come over now instead of trying to sneak into the house late….unless he didn't want me parents to know he was there. My heart went into overdrive at this point. What would that mean?

"No thank you Renee. Mom wants to take me to do some errands early in the morning so I think it would be best for me to stay home tonight." My mother's shock wasn't well hidden as she hummed and sat back in her chair.

"Well then. Alright dear. Did you need a ride to your house? I'm sure Esme wouldn't want you walking out here alone at night." I nodded trying to urge him into the car. Having Edward attacked by one of the random animals in the woods was not something I was ready to cope with tonight. He just smiled and shook his head.

"That's quite alright. I think the walk will do me well. Thank you though. Sleep well Bella." I nodded as he shut the door stepping back from the car. I took one last look at Edward's smiling face as we pulled out of the driveway and took off down the street to our house. Mom kept giving me sidelong glances trying to figure out the best approach in asking what it was that she pulled up to; I kept staring outside hoping she would get the hint and keep quiet. My ego and emotions couldn't take anymore tonight.

"Bella…?" I shook my head.

"Not now mom. Please. Not tonight." She sighed and turned to look back out the windshield. My lower lip was getting more and more raw the more I thought.

What was Edward doing? Where was he now? Why did he want me to keep my window open? If he was coming over later why now just do it now? Maybe he didn't want to parents to know? But that never stopped him before. I was so confused. After everything I had said to him tonight I was sure I was going to go into shock. I'd never revealed so much to him before and now…now I didn't know where that left us.

On one hand I was hopeful that maybe, just maybe, he was going to stop treating me like a porcelain doll and more like a human being. On the other I was worried that I was going to forever lose that comfort Edward has always brought me.

We pulled up to the house and I jumped out before my mother could start the awkward silent car conversation of what happened tonight. I loved my mother but sometimes she pried a bit too hard. I knew what she would tell me. Stay away from Edward. He wouldn't be good for me or my future. He was too constricting and too controlling. But she didn't understand. Granted my codependency I have for him is a bit unhealthy; hell, I wasn't so blind as not to see it. But I also saw how I affected him in the same way. People saw him as the controlling one; that was only because he was so outspoken. I controlled him silently. His body reacting instantly to my touch and every time he'd see me after we've been apart, that ease settling back into his eyes. I saw that because it was he and I. And there was nothing which hurt me more than the thought of Edward with any other person. To encroach upon something so misunderstood. No one would ever understand.

I walked straight past my father's game focused body and up the stairs to my room. I'm sure mom was going to be talking to him about what she saw but I didn't care. They could try their hardest to keep us apart but Edward wouldn't allow that. He's worked many different ways around our parents' rules on separation, especially as we grew older. They thought it was unhealthy.

The first time they did manage to keep us apart, it took a plane ride to an undisclosed location for a week, and we both lost our functionality. After that we were allowed to maintain some, monitored, contact.

I tried focusing on anything but what would be happening later tonight. I wasn't sure if I wanted to fully invest my hope into Edward coming; he'd never failed me before but then again this was a first.

I cleaned my room, finished any homework for Monday, and even managed to fold the mounting pile of laundry in the corner of my room. I glanced to the clock seeing that it was 12. My chest constricted. He wasn't coming. Even still I couldn't bring myself to squelch all hope.

I grabbed my favorite book, ensuring the window was unlocked, before laying down on my bed picking up just as Elizabeth was about to confront Darcy about his interference in Jane's marriage. The further I read the heavier my eyes grew.

Perhaps I'd heard him wrong. Maybe he said _don't_ leave your window open. My eyes involuntarily watered as I laid down snuggling further into my bed. Not even Darcy could pull me from feeling utterly broken and rejected. Why Edward?

…

Soft pressure moved up and down my back. That felt good. I scooted back against the feeling. I must've butted up against the wall. I wiggled around trying to free my limbs from the ensnaring blanket. "Isabella you're testing my restraint." I froze my eyes flashing open. I rolled back the opposite direction misjudging the distance landing on the ground with a loud thud. This isn't happening. I struggled to break free from the blankets on the ground. Edward in my bed?! I saw his messy hair first followed by his bright green eyes and bright white smile. I froze looking back at him.

"You came." I whispered. He hummed sliding off of the bed helping to untangle my body from the sheets.

"Of course. I said I would. Doubt me?" I looked down. He'd never failed me before so why would he this time?

"It was just late. And I was confused why you were going to come later instead of when my mother offered. I was confused. Tonight's been confusing." He chuckled grabbing my chin lifting my face to look up at his.

"I will always be there Isabella. Trust me. And I needed to give a good show of distance for yours and my parents. They think they can keep us apart, foolish really. Now back to what we were talking about earlier." I'm sure even with as dark as it was my blush could be seen.

"What in particular?" He sighed.

"Truly Isabella; if you've been thinking about it only a fraction of how long I've been thinking about it then you know what it's about." I nodded. Did I want Edward?

"Of course I want you Edward. I've always wanted you. I don't know how I'd manage without you. Everyday I'm worried I won't see you. Everyday I wait until you pop up. Everyday I'm told that it's not healthy, that we're not healthy. I may not be mature enough to fully understand what it is we're doing but I do know that no one can ever understand what we have." He smiled wrapping his arms around my waist. I took a shaky breathe. I wasn't done yet. I needed it all out.

"But Edward if you want me as nothing more than a friend I will happily accept that as well. When I say I can't imagine life without you that means as simply my best friend. But please I beg you if that's the case to not drag me through the torture of watching girls throw themselves at you. Watching as you look at them as something more than a little weak sister. And deflecting every possible chance I could ever hope to have at a normal relationship." The longer I spoke the harder it got. Edward's hands were just loose of leaving bruises on my hips.

"Define normal relationship." He stared at a spot on the wall behind my head. At least I was able to think without looking into his eyes.

"Edward. Please don't think about this the wrong way. All I'm saying is," He shook his head.

"I'm serious Isabella. Tell me what it is you are expecting any of those mediocre boys down the road to give you." I clenched my eyes shut. How was he expecting me to divulge these embarrassing thoughts? He pulled me in tighter letting me know I was taking too long to answer.

"What else would you expect of a normal relationship Edward? Hand holding, kissing, showing some form of public affection which doesn't include beating every boy who looks in my direction. I tell you every day I'm yours and yet I feel like you're not solely mine. You give me protection and safety. You make me feel wanted and special. But affection. You're seriously lacking Edward. And the most embarrassing part of all of this," I paused. I can't believe I was about to go there. He started rubbing paths back and forth across my back.

"I honestly don't feel satisfactory enough to even be considered to hold your affection. I honestly think you will only and forever be an overprotective best friend my whole life and I will forever remain inexperienced." I was working so hard not to break. I wanted to cry. I wanted to hide in the closet. I wanted him to leave and never let me go all at once. Any hopes of going back to the way we were before we now shattered.

He continued to breathe deeply keeping a firm grasp. The silence just about to plunge me into madness.

"Inexperienced? How?" I groaned dropping my face into his chest. He always managed to pick the worst out of what I said.

"Please don't." He huffed annoyed. I took a deep breath trying to get it all out in one sentence. "Kissing, touching, making out, and eventually sex. I can't do any of that unless I have someone to do it with." His hands stopped as his fingers nearly sprawled the span of my back.

I don't know how long we stood in silence. His deep ragged breathing the only noise to make me think about anything other than where I was right now. I felt as though my heart was about to come up my throat.

Fuck it!

I'd already poured out all of my most secret and deepest thoughts I might as well throw the remainder of my dignity out the window and jump Edward.

He pulled pack slowly moving his hand to cradle my face. "Are you nervous?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. He continued to stare at me seriously. Now he was just mocking me. I stepped back out of his grasp and walked towards the door.

"You can sleep in here. I'm going to wallow in embarrassment downstairs." Tonight was the worst night of my life.

"Isabella come here now." I tensed at his stern voice. He couldn't be serious about this. I looked over my shoulder. But his showed he was.

I shut the door and turned back around silently walking back to stand before him. He replaced his hands on my face.

"Are you nervous?" He repeated softly. I nodded.

"Yes. Edward this is ridiculous. Please stop mocking me. I get that I'm being irrational right now. Just drop it, yea?" He didn't answer as he slowly slid his hands down to my neck. My body chilled as his fingers gently massaged the sensitive skin.

"Are you nervous?" He asked again. I looked up annoyed. I could barely hold an intelligible conversation with the kid and now he was playing the touching game with me.

This was his way of deterring me from any future contact with another person…

Well guess what?! I wasn't going to let him prove how much of a coward I am.

"No." I grinned. He hummed dropping his hand down to my upper chest. I think I'm going to faint. He smirked and cocked an eyebrow.

"Are you nervous?" Of all the times for him to finally show some emotion. I nodded slowly. He chuckled keeping his hands firmly planted on my body. His hands slowly moving down to rest right above my boobs. I think at this point I have forgotten how to breathe. I say no and yet he continues.

"Why are you doing this?" I whispered. He nods and gave me a second's break from his stare as he glanced around the room.

If he was trying to teach me a lesson, I had no clue what it would've been. Surely he must know that this isn't how I felt with Tyler even in much the same position; Aside the darkness and silence and the fact my body was on high alert with Edward. Tyler would've been a passing memory but Edward; this was going to be something burned into my body forever.

Great.

Edward finally returned his eyes to mine. His fingers fluttered across my chest playing around his eventual target.

"You said that you worried about your experience because that was something I was keeping from you. Understand that you will not be gaining experience from anyone else. Only me." Seriously?! He was tormenting me because he wanted to guide me! Experience for the sake of knowing and never being able to actually do?!

I opened my mouth to start my rant but seeing my oncoming outburst he dropped his hands quickly down to cover each breast within each palm. I swallowed hard and began to chew on my lower lip. The mix of confusion and euphoria left my legs feeling like Jell-O. It took everything in me to remain composed.

As his fingers began to knead softly my face flooded with blood. I adverted my eyes focusing on the far door. It was just touching Bella; it means nothing more.

Then why does my body feel as though it's engulfed in flames?

"Are you nervous?" He whispered. I nodded.

"Yes Edward." My shaky breath barely came across as audible. His hands finally released as he continued down to my torso. My abs constricting as he caressed and moved to hold my back pulling me to his chest.

"Do I make you nervous?" Clearly he was ignoring me. Going on his own mission. Either he was trying to give me pointers or he was trying to make me pass out.

I nodded. His hands then slipped down to cover each butt cheek. He wouldn't actually continue past this would he? Would he listen if I told him to stop? Did I want him to stop?

"Do you want me to continue?" The first time he asked what I wanted. What did I want? This would be the only time I'd get to have him; as more than just an overprotective possessive best friend. After tonight everything would go back to normal. But if Edward wasn't willing to stick with me past tonight then did I really want to experience that part of myself with him? He couldn't be serious about being the only one to give me experience…right? Edward wouldn't actually…

I shook my head once.

"Not if you're going to go back to treating me like your incapable little sister again." He frowned looking down at me. His hands sliding up to tuck his thumbs into the waistline of my pajamas. He moved to grasp my waist. His fingers tightened around my hip bones as he picked me up dropping me on my back onto the bed. I squeaked from the quick movement as he laid his length on top of me. I thought I was the one in control; clearly I was mistaken.

He kept most of his body weight off of me as he held my head in his hands. Every inch of me ached for his touch. His fingertips leaving trails of fire where they moved. I was falling to deep into the hole. I didn't want to subject myself to his rejection tomorrow. My thoughts must've reflected onto my face because he became tense shaking his head.

"Why do you think I'm going to just leave you tomorrow?" My eyes started watering at the thought. I don't know where that would leave me without Edward.

"Look at you and look at me. You'd be crazy to stick with me." He grunted dropping his face down to mine pushing his lips against mine hungrily. I gasped as he fisted my hair tilting my head back for better access. I continued to stare in shock my lips still as he kissed me. What the hell do I do? He chuckled pulling back a few inches.

"You can kiss me back you know?" He joked giving me a wink. I opened my mouth to argue, because, well, arguing was what I did best. He however thought this was an open invite to acquaint his tongue with mine.

He hummed satisfied as his tongue massaged and urged mine to move. Tomorrow damned I closed my eyes and tried to do what felt right. My right hand finding its way into his soft hair. He never did let anyone else touch his hair. I mimicked his actions as gave a soft tug causing him to moan. That noise alone sending every hormone in my body into overdrive. His knee found itself wedged between my legs rubbing against a place I'd often forgot existed unless it was that time of the month. I turned away finding it hard to breathe as I tried to keep control of my body. He chuckled softly placing soft kisses along my throat and collarbone.

"Very good Isabella. You've just had your first make-out." Damn my incontrollable blush. He slowly peeled himself off of me rolling onto my left. I sat staring up at the ceiling; his and my frantic breathe the only proof I wasn't imagining those last few minutes. His hand found mine his fingers weaving through mine.

We sat in silence his hand in mine. I didn't know where to go from here. Did we pretend like this never happened after tonight? Did this change us? In a way I hoped it did and yet I also didn't.

Edward pulled himself up from the bed crawling over me to land back on the ground. His serious demeanor taking back over. That's what I figured would happen. He gave me a smirk as he turned to walk back to the window. I couldn't help but sit up feeling myself pulling away with him.

"Get some sleep Isabella. You got a lot of…experience tonight." I needed more answers than that.

"What about the sex?" I found myself asking boldly. He stopped his retrieval halfway out the window. His shoulders tensing and relaxing as he turned half his face to me. Only half a grin facing me.

"Oh don't worry. I'll teach you that soon enough." Oh boy. He gave a throaty laugh as he pulled the rest of his body out the window onto the tree branch. And just like that he dropped out of sight.

I flopped back onto my bed every sense heightened. I could still feel his soft lips pressing against mine. His hands roaming freely around my body. Don't break me Edward.


	4. Chapter 4

**Year 17**

I stared at the mirror. I huffed twisting this way and that. It would have to be good enough. Lord knows Edward hates it when I, as he says, show off. A simply black tee hugged my, thankfully, fully developed breasts and flattened out across my abdomen. Dark wash jeans hugged my ass and thighs while taking on a boot cut past my knees. Hair down. Light makeup to only accentuate my 'natural beauty.'

Edward would approve. Flatter me with words to be left only for a significant other and then trapeze with some fake blonde headed bimbo in our classes, and yes I meant all of them. How he managed to do it for 4 years I'll never know.

As I turned now staring at the innocent folded paper on my desk, my stomach knotted and throat became tight. We graduated tomorrow. After that…I could barely bring myself to even think the words in fear he would hear me.

The acceptance letter to Seattle University. Not far enough away to be disconnected but far enough to hinder our visitations. And I still wasn't quite sure how he would take it. I'd kept it a secret this long. I grabbed the letter and stuck it in my right pocket being sure to flatten it into invisibility. I glanced to the final two boxes sitting in the corner of my room waiting to be hauled to Alice's and my apartment in Seattle; the rest of my belongings already moved. Discreetly of course.

With one last courageous breathe I grabbed my bag and walked out of the house. Charlie's cruiser gone to work and my mother's Corolla somewhere along the Eastern Seaboard.

I couldn't help but smile remembering Edward's…annoyance when she left and tried to take me with her. I guess kidnapping is a bit too drastic of a word because I was willing but we ran. Together. Hiding in some makeshift palace out in the woods Edward had been creating bit by bit for the last 12 years. We still would go there and be alone sometime when the judging became too much.

I climbed into my rusty truck feeling extra nostalgic this morning. Edward was the only good thing I would take with me from this place. While the little show we'd had in my room after Alice's birthday party, so long ago, had repeated itself numerous more times; he and I never managed to create that title of boyfriend and girlfriend. Perhaps if he had, then my drive this morning would be a little different. The letter now burning into my ass. I was also still sore over the never had sex thing; whenever we'd gotten that far he'd stop and leave.

His attitude still mind boggling to me. Everything had just intensified with age. And yet…nothing. Girls throwing themselves at him and bragging about their previous night's _activities;_ and Edward throwing his fist at any boy who even glanced at me inappropriately. I think secretly Charlie was thankful I had a full time virtue protector. That didn't mean he wasn't excited for me to leave Forks behind, especially Edward.

Even thinking about telling him I was accepted to SU made my heart rate pick up. I was delusional if I thought this was going to blow over smoothly. He's never hurt me but I didn't put anything past him.

I made the short drive to the school, parking in my usual spot at the back of the lot. I turned off the ignition and sat in my quiet car focusing on my whitening knuckles. Can I do this? A knock on my window caused a short shriek to peep through my lips. I looked to my left as saw Edward standing there with his eyebrows cocked. And just like that I became speechless. Sucked every thought from my brain.

"Isabella." I nodded pulling the lock up so he could open the door. He leaned in placing a soft kiss against my cheek leaving a soft tingle. He stood still with his face pressed against mine, waiting. "Say it." He commanded. I took a deep breath. This may be the last time I ever say this to him.

"I'll always belong to you Edward. Whether I like it or not." It was so true it was sad. There was no one who was ever going to be able to surpass the way I feel for Edward. How could they? He gave a deep throaty chuckle as he kissed the base of my throat before pulling me out of my truck. He tossed my bag over his shoulder while tucking his hand into my back left pocket. Everyday. Predictable.

I noticed the parking lot to be nearly empty. The lower class men had already been dismissed for the summer. The last remaining seniors had been asked to set up for the graduation ceremony. Edward didn't want to be here, said he'd rather have me all to himself out at our place but I wanted to keep distracted and so he loyally followed. Didn't want too many eager boys stepping on the wrong path, aka within 50 feet of me.

And since Edward was here, most of the female population was as well. He continued to walk with his hand in my pocket as we entered into the gym. Several people were shuffling around tables, banners, posters, and chairs trying several different formations to see what would work best; I suppose only having a graduating class of 76 was a plus in this situation.

"Oh Edward!?" I tensed. Bitch. Not what I needed to right now. Today was not a good day. Edward smirked turning his head as Jessica came bouncing down the court waiving her hands.

"Hello Jessica." I deftly stepped away as she came placing a hand against his chest. He snapped his eyes to me glaring at my clear disobedience. From the day I told him I wasn't going to stand by while I was cast aside, I kept my word. Didn't mean he liked it. But the longer I stood watching him talk and flirt my anger flared. Whether he knew it or not today was going to be his last chance to finally prove how devoted to me he was. She giggled as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Fuck it! I was going to hell anyway. I scanned the room searching for my victim. Who would get a rise out of him the most? My eyes fell on Tyler. I grinned. Two can play at this game Edward. I turned my head giving a wink to Edward as he stared at me in confusion. I looked over at Tyler making my move towards him with a newfound purpose.

This was going to be payback for every single moment I've pined for his attention and was met only with callous judgmental glares. For every time he would give me hope and squash it in the same breathe. For every time he made me vow myself to someone without the courtesy to do the same in return.

The gym went silent as I walked determinedly to Tyler. He smirked dropping the stack of chairs in his hands full facing me.

"Isabella, don't you dare." Edward's strict voice wrapped around me attempting to halt my goal. Not this time. This time I was in control. I came to stand before Tyler, his grimy smile fully taking in my appearance. I didn't allow myself time to think about the consequences sure to follow as I closed the distance throwing my arms around his neck planting my lips firmly against his. Tyler moaned slipping his arms around my waist not hesitating to give his all.

The kiss was rough, fiery, heated. His tongue quickly making work of sliding past my lips to dance with my own. Far different than any other kiss I've shared with Edward. Void of any passion mind you, but it was going to be burned into Edward's memory for the rest of his life.

Cat calls and gasps rang around the gym as the kiss picked up in intensity. There was no emotion in the kiss. Pure revenge was my only motivation. Tyler was officially my first non-Edward sexual contact and I was loving every second of it. Defiance; something I'd never done before. It felt amazing.

My vision blurred as a strong hand grabbed my arm pulling me forcefully from Tyler's arms. Edward's fiery eyes burned angrier than I'd ever seen before. But I stood strong. I think there was even a smug smile on my face. His chest heaved as he attempted to stare me down into submission. Not this time. Not anymore.

Even Tyler wasn't dumb enough to go up against Edward right now. He slowly backed away trying to put as much space between them as he could. A pissed off Edward was something many feared. I was basking in it right now.

"What they fuck do you think you're doing?!" He shouted. I just hummed and shook my head ripping my arm from his grasp. I stepped forward my face inches from his. My adrenaline was running on high as I stood confidently. I grabbed the paper from my back pocket throwing it at him allowing it to fall to the ground.

"Fuck you." I said softly before taking a few steps back before turning on my heels walking towards the doors. My whole body had begun to tremble. I just destroyed the only life I'd known. I threw back in his face everything he had told me not to do. For once I hoped he felt just a little bit of the pain I'd suffered through my entire life.

"Isabella, come back here right now." I shook my head throwing up my middle finger; my peers clapping and cheering as I made my dramatic exit. Well today could've gone better. I continued my fast pace through the school towards the parking lot. He had his chance. He had many chances.

As the rush wore off I couldn't help but to feel…lost? My life had been Edward. Where he was? What he was doing? When would I see him again? Even now I wasn't sure what was going to happen in the next few minutes. But if one thing was for sure Edward was not going to just let me leave.

Alice saw me charging down the hallway and came running after me as I crossed the lot to my car. I fumbled with my keys wanting to get out of here as quickly as possible. I'll be damned if I'm going to wait for him to catch up with me. His shock should've worn off by now. My anxiety now grew as it became hard to swallow. I think I might faint.

"Hey Bella! Hold up." She shouted coming to a panting stop beside my door. I thrust my knee into the side of my truck unable to hold back my frustration. Fucker. Alice continued to stare at me in confusion. "Where's," I shook my head giving her a silencing glare.

"Don't say his name...to me...ever again." Her eyes began to grow wide at my clear turn in feelings. I'd never been so harsh against him. While he deserved it the most, I always justified for him. Always forgave. Even just this morning I thought fondly of his quirks.

"What happened?" She whispered. Heavy footsteps echoed through the hallway, he was coming alright. I continued to fumble with the keys as Alice stared in the direction Edward would be coming from.

"I kissed Tyler." I whispered. Alice gasped snapping her eyes back to me.

"What were you thinking?!" She shouted. I chuckled shaking my head finally turning the key in the hole.

"She wasn't. Isabella Swan, you will come here this instant or I swear to God," He drifted off. I turned my attention to him as he came to stand inches from me. His intoxicating scent catching me off guard. Focus. I bowed my chest to him giving it back just as hard. Alice slowly stepped away. Submissive Bella was gone for the moment. Please let it stay that way.

"To God what? You'll hit me? What Edward? You can't even keep me from kissing other men." I jabbed. He snarled pushing me up against my truck his chest pressed firmly against mine. His eyes intensity making me look away momentarily. This defiance thing was still all new to me. His chest vibrated against mine with his growls. His hands came up to trap me on both sides against my truck.

"Boys," he corrected. Another thing which pissed me off. Like he was the only worthy man to walk this Earth; at least to me anyway. He continued, "And you're fucking wrong I can't. You just wait and see what I'll do to you when we're alone." His snapped his glare to Alice. She rolled her eyes. She was used to all of this. She was actually probably the only other person who had any mental grasp of our…relationship.

"Edward. Breathe." Alice whispered. He took deep calculated breaths as his continued to stare determinedly at me. His body slowly began to relax the longer we waited. The parking lot had remained, thankfully, empty.

As my own anger diminished I began to feel childish for my behavior. Did I think he was wrong, yes. Did I treat the situation like the adult I'm supposed to be, no. His hands came up to hold my face in place as he dropped his forehead against mine rolling it back and forth slowly.

"Call me later Bells." Alice muttered before stepping away resuming whatever task she was doing before chasing me. It took everything in me to keep from wrapping my arms around his waist and beg for forgiveness and continue on like it never happened. But it did. And it needed to. I couldn't keep doing this.

"Why?" He whispered looking straight into my eyes. Seeing everything. The thoughts and emotions. My biggest weakness against him. I closed my eyes. "Open your eyes Isabella." He commanded softly. I sighed obeying. His cool minty breath blurred my brain making it hard to concentrate. He smirked. He knew what he was doing. No.

"I can't do this anymore Edward." I whispered. His head snapped back away as his face looked at me incredulously.

"What does that mean? Can't do this anymore?" The ire coming back to his eyes. I stepped away another means of further pissing him off.

"That's just it. I'm done Edward. I've tried and tried to do this. With you. That's all I ever wanted but you could seem to care less. I'm done. I'm going to be leaving for," He put up his hand shaking his head.

"No you're not." He said defiantly.

"Yes I am. You give me no reason to stay." I kept my voice soft; one because I was trying to keep him calm but I also didn't think I could hide the sticky voice my oncoming tears were causing if I spoke any louder. At the end of the day I loved him. Sick wasn't it?

"No reason?! Isabella you are mine and you are not going anywhere without me. Especially to a place filled with more boys like them." He hissed motioning back to the school. I closed my eyes feeling my eyelashes began to bead with tears. Why did I think today any possibility of today going smoothly?

"Believe me when I tell you I had no intent in hurting you today; Jessica always brings out my worst. All of the girls do. Watching as they throw themselves at you. Envying the response you give them. I can't take it anymore. I'm sorry Edward. But I am no longer yours." As I said it the words burned hot. Even now it wasn't something I fully believed. I would never be able to replace him. But did I want to?

I kept my eyes closed as I turned to my truck fumbling with finding the door handle. If I looked at him now I don't know if I would keep strong. I could feel his cool long fingers trail up each of my arms pushing me up against the door face first. His lips ghosted up the back of my neck placing soft kisses up and then along my jaw. His teeth bit softly on my lobe before his warm breath came across my ear and side of my face. My entire body ached from the full pressure of his body against mine. The distinctive bulge of him pressing against my ass. God how did he control me like this?

"You are going to stop this nonsense Isabella. You will be staying with me. You are going to drive to _our_ place," his hands came up to grasp my breasts in his palms. "You are going to learn why you are _mine_." He growled while grinding his hips into me. I couldn't stop the soft whimper which pushed past my lips. For fucks sake! After all this time NOW is when he was pulling all stops.

"Do I make myself clear?" His stern voice shook me to my core. If only he could figure out how to use his sexiness to my benefit. But I wasn't going to be weak now. I've come this far. If I met him there…I just gave a simple nod. He chuckled darkly kissing behind my ear again.

"Wonderful. Now be my good little girl and go home first and grab a few changes of clothing. I don't know how long I'll want to keep you all to myself. Then again I don't think you'll be wanting to go anywhere anyway." Again my body betrayed me as I shivered. I nodded again. My voice nowhere to be found.

"And be sure to bring that dark blue deep V shirt which just looks fantastic," He squeezed my breasts for emphasis, "on you." Again I nodded. I felt like his damned puppet. My knees continued to grow weaker the more he spoke. His body weight the only reason I was still upright. My thighs continued to push together tighter and tighter trying to ward off my growing ache in the pit of my stomach and between my legs. He knew exactly what he was doing. His sweet words and sultry voice. Rock hard body. Stimulating scent.

Fucker.

I was going to have one chance at this. Play nice Bella.

"Now what was that you were saying about being mine?" He whispered. I took a deep shaky breathe testing my limits grinding my ass into his groin. He hissed my name.

"I'm yours Edward." He hummed.

"Good girl. If you make me come for you, you will be punished. So I suggest you be quick." I nodded. He ground himself into me one last time before retracting himself. My breath came out in one gush as I retained control of my body.

How much I hated and loved the way he was able to send my body into chaos so easily. I was even almost considering going out there…almost. I glanced over my shoulder watching as he slipped into his Volvo taking off out of the lot quickly. I finally pried open my door with a yank and hopped in roaring the engine to life.

I pulled out my phone calling Alice as I drove home. I was going to have a 2 minute head start if I pulled everything off smoothly. It was going to take him 8 minutes to get home, 3 to grab his things, and 10 to reach the field. He'll give me 12 minutes, 10 for expected wait time and 2 for my tardiness. Once I didn't show he would sprint back to the house cutting his time back down to 4 minutes and then speed into town taking only 5. I had to be out of town before 42 minutes if I had even a chance of shaking Edward.

By my schedule I would be home in 11, at home for 5 to finish grabbing my things. I would have to go out of my way to get to dad taking up 12 minutes and 5 saying goodbye. I know Charlie would flip if I skipped out on him; even if that did take time from my escape. From there I would be 8 minutes from the interstate putting me at 40 minutes. It was going to be close. Let's hope my timing was spot on today.

"Bells?" she answered. I sighed.

"Hey Al. It was bad. He's offering what he wasn't before and if I go back to him he won't let me go. I'm going to head to our place now." She gasped.

"Seriously Bella? Edward's a bit much but he's not," I laughed.

"Alice. He's finally moved onto using sex. I'm not going to get stuck in that. My mind can't handle that. Please understand me. I'm a coward but I can't face him again. I'm barely going through with it now. If I have to watch him give someone _that side_ I crave one more time then I will go insane. I need space. And once he gets it too I think he'll level out." Hell I didn't even believe that. He's going to flip his shit.

"You don't really expect me to believe that do you?" I sighed. Damn Alice.

"Please Alice." I begged. She sighed but relented.

"Alright. I'll divert as long as I can. It's a good thing he doesn't know where we live huh? I'll see you tomorrow night. Good luck Bells. Better move fast." She was laughing as I ended the call. Damn woman.

I jogged into the house swiftly making my way upstairs. I pulled a picture of Edward and I off the wall tossing it into one of the boxes before taking the last of my possessions and heading back out to my truck. 18 minutes before Edward would be heading back for me. My heart beat rapidly. I was really going to do this.

I took off towards the Sherriff's Station so I could say goodbye to Charlie. I would be ripping away my graduation walk from him but he's been wanting me to run for a long time now. I would only be 45 minutes away but it was far enough to hide me in a big city and close enough to keep him close.

Charlie stood his smile falling as he looked at my determined face. He nodded pulling me in for a hug. We held onto each other for dear life. This was not the way I had envisioned any of this happening.

"Why don't you just let me arrest him or something?" I laughed shaking my head.

"Come on Pops. You know he's a great guy. He's just," I paused.

"Unique. I know. You've been telling me that your whole life. I still don't get it but then again who am I to interfere? I love you kid. Be safe. Call me when you get there. I'll stop by this weekend for a dinner. And give Alice a hug for me." I nodded unable to stop the tears from welling in my eyes. I was being ridiculous but I couldn't help myself. I was a big softy for my dad.

"Thank you dad. Oh, and please go and ask Sue out. For me. I don't want to see you alone in that house anymore." I winked causing his face to pinken. I giggled kissing his cheek before turning and heading back out to my truck. As I took off towards my final driving stint to the interstate my phone began to vibrate in my pocket.

I pulled it out looking down at the lcd screen and my stomach flipped as Edward's name flashed. Forgot to factor in those damned cellphones everyone had now. I ignored the call setting it on the passenger chair. Then it began again, and again, and again. Calling every time the previous call didn't go through. My heart continued to ache every time. I was already missing him. There was definitely some form of Stockholm's Syndrome in me.

The further I drove away from Forks the calmer I became. I actually managed to deceive him. I got away. And my phone still vibrated. He was persistent; I'll give him that. I must've had at least 80 missed calls by the time I pulled up to our apartment. Not to neglect the 43 texts varying from demands, anger, forgiving (to my disobedience mind you), pleading, and even some sexy suggestions to how I could make it up to him.

But I held strong. I didn't answer the calls or the texts. After telling Alice and Dad I had made it here safe I turned off my phone. Having it go straight to voicemail was REALLY going to piss him off. I smirked. And yet that was oh so satisfying.


	5. Chapter 5

**2 Months Later**

"Isabella Swan!" I giggled as Alice came charging into the room a crazed look on her face. She held a dark red dress in one hand and a dark blue one in the other. I shook my head.

I told you Ali; I don't want to go out tonight. I'd rather stay home and relax. School and work has been stressful. Especially after my last test." Even thinking about it made my skin crawl. She rolled her eyes.

"Bells. College is going to be way different than Fork's high. One test score of 79 is hardly the end of the world." I just nodded slowly. We'd already hashed this out earlier. She said it was stress. I knew what it was. As much as I hated to admit it.

Edward was still an ever present person in my daily life while I was not in his. He would text me a morning message and a night message. If he was extra bored that day he would text me a couple times throughout the day. But I never responded. I knew once I did he would start breaking me down and then it would only be a matter of time before he would get any information he wanted out of me.

A combination of his never ending connection and my unwavering affection I held for him which hurt my focus. It was hard not being able to indulge in my desires to see him and put all this behind me.

And then I would see Jessica or Lauren or any of the other countless girls who wanted to be in Edward's life and that would be enough to hold me back. Until I had to go through it again. Alice just wanted me to be happy with or without Edward. And if I wanted it to be without she would support me. If I had my moments and wanted it to be with she would offer to call and give him our address.

"Are you listening to me!?" I refocused on her reddened face as she glared at me. I smirked.

"Sorry Ali. What was that?" She huffed dropping the dresses over a chair and sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I get that you're trying to figure your shit out. It's only been a couple months and it's still hard. That being said, you can't just close yourself off while you're doing it. You still have a life to live." I nodded slowly. She had so much conviction as she spoke I couldn't help but to listen to her.

"I know Ali. It's just been a lot. He still calls and texts me every day." She smiled.

"You could just talk to him you know?"

"Yea right Al. you know exactly how that would end." She laughed picking up the dark blue dress holding it out to me. I took it warily. Alice was the girl form of Edward who just smiled more.

"Okay. You may be right about that one. You're going out tonight. That's final. The only way you're ever going to figure out what the right thing to do is by living life and figuring it out. Trust me." She winked before turning from my room and shutting the door. I don't think I have much of a choice.

After I changed Alice finished my makeup and hair while managing to do the same to herself in half the time. A few pregame drinks and making sure we had our phones and some money we made the 5 block walk down the street to the Alpha Kai Magnum house. They were throwing their summer party. There weren't going to be too many people there, mainly just those taking summer courses. Alice said it would be an easy start into college partying.

We walked up the path to the frat house, the first thing I registered was the loud bass of the music pumping through the walls. Alice began to bounce excitedly beside me as we walked in through the front doors.

Several things hit me at once. First it was loud. Very loud. Next the lights were changed to be various shades of red, yellow, and orange making me feel as though I just stepped through the gates of hell. Third was the rooms smelled of booze, sweat, and sex. People were packed wall to wall grinding and drinking. Lastly there were two frat brothers standing on each side of the door looking Alice and I from head to toe. My face flushed as Alice held out the money for admittance.

The man nearest her had a full dirty blonde head of hair, bright gleaming blue eyes, a smooth clean shaven face, and a smile which I watched Alice melt into. He shook his head glancing to me in a polite way before turning his smoldering eyes back to her. I covered the smile in my hand.

"Oh no no gorgeous, ladies such as yourselves do not have to pay admittance. Your beauty is payment enough." And he was southern. Alice let out a soft groan as she gave him a smile and nod.

"Thank you. That's very kind of you." She purred stepping closer to him. Dear lord.

"I think our friends may be occupied with each other tonight." I turned remembering the second doorman. He had tanned skin, clear brown eyes, spiky black hair, and the whitest smile I'd ever seen. He stood a good foot taller than me. He was very sexy. I chewed on my lower lip giving a nod.

"I think so too. And I trust he will keep my friends safety in mind because I would hate to have to come back here on ill terms and handle it if he doesn't." He chuckled nodding. I was dead serious though. Alice was my best friend and I'll be damned if I left one frat boy have his fun with her tonight and drop her in the morning. She's put up with a lot of my shit and I was willing to snub out any problems which could come from this.

I looked back at Alice and she was already draped off of his arm as he was whispering into her ear causing peals of laughter to come through her lips. She caught my eyes and winked. I sighed giving a nod. Alice was smart. She knew how to handle herself. And worse comes to worse Alice's black belt would help her out. I had faith in her judgement.

"Jasper's a good man. Always very respectful; charming when he wants to be. But he would never abuse a woman." I looked back to Jasper's companion hearing the sincerity in his voice. I nodded.

"I trust her judgement. She always managed to see what other people don't." Instantly I thought of Edward. Not tonight Bella. Tonight was for you. Don't let him worry you. There was an extremely good looking man who was still looking at you.

"I'm Jacob Black. Sophomore. That was Jasper. Junior." I nodded sticking out my hand.

"Bella Swan. And that little spitfire who just abandoned me was Alice. We're both freshmen." He hummed and held out the crook of his arm to me. I laughed resting my hand gently there. My fingers tingled from the contact; Edward's chastising voice filled my ears. He's not here Bella.

As we passed some of the girls would glare while the guys would stare. It was just like when I was with Edward. Except this time I could feel the burn of Jacob's stare into the side of my face. He was only looking at me. We made it to the drink table and Jacob made himself a rum and coke after preparing a fruity drink for me. I never really drank much before tonight so Jacob made me what he thought I would like. And boy was he spot on.

"So Bella tell me a little bit about yourself." I hummed sitting down on the couch beside him. His leg brushing up against mine.

"Um," I tried clearing my head a little. All this attention was new to me. That same uncomfortable feeling I would get without Edward came back. "I grew up in a small town about 45 minutes from here. Never really got out a lot there. This is actually my first real party I've gone to." His eyes opened wide in shock.

"Really?!" He shouted. I laughed nodding. The further I drank the fuzzier my body felt.

"Really. It was a very drab town. Not much to do. I had my two best friends and that was it." He shook his head in shock. That was a good part of Edward; always there to make me through my days.

"Well now that doesn't sound like much fun. I'm going to make it my responsibility to show you a great time tonight and hopefully in the future." The tips of his ears blushed.

"I would like that." I admitted. Fun was something I was lacking as of late. He brightened up hearing my assurance.

Jacob and I sat talking just about everything. He and I had a lot in common. Like me he needed a break from his family and boring life. We liked the same kinds of music and movies. Both terrified of heights and yet love riding roller coasters. Hell we were both even democrats. But then tell me why I only saw him as Jacob and nothing more?

I tried drinking more. I tried drinking away Edward. Every time Jacob would touch me I felt nothing. He would laugh and wink, nothing. He even placed a kiss on my cheek; all I wanted was Edward. He won.

Even thinking about Edward's touch made me ache. His lips, kiss, smile, eyes. Everything made me yearn for him. And the booze only made it worse. Jacob came back from his last trip to the drink table and handed me my 6th drink of the night.

"You aright Bella?" Thinking of Edward changed my whole demeanor. So much so Jacob was picking up on it. I shook my head.

"No. I'm sorry Jacob. I just have a lot on my mind. Some things I have to straighten out before I can be the girl you deserve. I'm sorry." He just smiled and nodded before standing and walking away shaking his head. Now I was pissed. I stood shakily holding tightly onto my cup as I search for Alice. After a few minutes I gave up and relented to going home and talking to her later.

The wedges Alice forced me into made walking nearly impossible and soon I found it safer to take the damn things off and carry them. But why in god's name they made the clasps so hard to unclasp?! As I walked I found myself righting my path so that I wouldn't run into the bushes or into the street.

Fucking Edward. Ruining my life even when he's not around. How badly I wished he would give me some affection. Fuck! Jacob only knew me for a few minutes before he treated me compassionately. Why then couldn't Edward?

My walk back was a long stumbling never-ending blur. But I managed to find our apartment and even get inside. I tossed my shoes off into the room and pulled out my cellphone seeing the two missed calls and 4 texts. I normally would just delete the thread without looking. Some sick pull within me made me open the feed. The words were blurry and reading became difficult but not impossible. Just...gotta...focus.

 _'Good morning my beauty.'_ I groaned as my stomach ached. I took another swig of my fruity concoction.

 _'I have this feeling that you're thinking about me right now.'_ Well that wouldn't be a long shot. It was hard not to think about him.

 _'I want to hear your voice.'_ I chewed on my cheek shaking my head. Through the fucking phone he made me unravel.

 _'I want you to call me.'_ Again another command. And yet my body was getting extremely turned on. I shut the phone walking into the kitchen grabbing the bottle of Raspberry Vodka Alice brought home and set it on the coffee table as I continued working on my beverage.

I wonder how Alice was faring without me. I grabbed my phone and opened her thread attempting to text.

 _'Al. U k?'_ Good enough. I hoped she was right about that guy. Chances are, if she was then she probably wouldn't be home until late tonight. I was jealous of her sexual choice. Edward scarred me forever with his sexual restrictions. I was far too insecure with myself to even try giving that part of me to anyone else. Edward still owned it.

Gah! So frustrating. Even here he chained me. My mind and body continued their battle only stopped by my phone vibrating again. Edward.

 _'Isabella you know you crave me.'_ I shouted standing up from the couch my anger blocking reason. I'm so sick of his egotistical hold he thinks he holds over me. The quivering of my thighs however...

The phone rang loud against my ear. I took another heavy drink squelching those last few butterflies in my stomach. I thought that his phone was going to go to voicemail and I found myself slightly relieved. I was on the verge of having a relapse.

"Hello love." His low sultry voice came into my ear. My breath got caught in my throat as I went blank. It had been so long since I heard his voice. I nearly forgotten why I even called him. "Speak Isabella." …nearly.

"Fuck you Edward." My hoarse voice finally came through.

"We're back to that now are we?" He chuckled. I grunted picking up my cup drinking more liquid encouragement.

"Yes we are. I thought I would call and let you know just how close I was to finally having sex tonight." His end went silent. I smiled smugly. "Oh is the great Edward Cullen speechless?" He growled the sexiness noise I've ever heard. My underwear becoming thoroughly soaked through in just a few short seconds.

"What did I tell you Isabella?" He snapped. Every inch of my body ached for his touch.

"What did you tell me?" I asked seductively. If this was going to be my last contact with him then appropriateness be damned. He hummed low and slow.

"You would be wise to never forget that you are mine Isabella." His throat growling out his words. My eyes rolling back into my head as my heart picked its pace up.

"Yours huh? And what does that mean if I'm yours?" I whispered. He sighed. I imagined his half grin, emerald eyes staring straight through me. His lips connecting with the back of my neck. Hand's coming up to cradle my breasts; my own taking his place in his absence.

"Mine in every definition of the word. You belong to me body and mind. You will not allow another human being to touch you without my approval. Do I make myself clear?" I chuckled and nodded as my body's senses heightened. I freed one of my breasts taking a swig of the vodka. The refreshing burn going down my throat. I continued to flex my thigh muscles reflexively trying to create some friction there. How much I wanted him.

"Don't stop talking please." My tone was on the verge of downright begging with him. Again he gave that deep laugh. I couldn't stop the next wave of euphoria as I tried to alleviate my urges.

"It's been too long Isabella. You're craving me more than ever before." He paused. "Tell me. How wet are you right now?" I couldn't stifle the groan which slipped from my lips. His booming laughter came through the phone. Damn him.

"You couldn't even imagine." I muttered. Now it was his turn to groan.

"Oh Isabella. You're being my naughty girl tonight aren't you?" My breathing came in pants the more friction I tried creating with my body. But it wasn't the same. It wasn't him. The sizzle his touch left against me.

"Just say the word Isabella and I can make it all go away." He was talking so softly now. Caressing me with his voice.

"Please Edward." I sighed.

"What do you say Isabella?" I hated myself right now. Everything I had worked for, destroyed. I couldn't even hear his voice without becoming submissive again. And the alcohol wasn't helping; speaking of which, I took another drink.

"I'm yours Edward. Tonight further proved that. I need you." I could hear his heavy breathing on the other end. Both of us just sitting in silence. It was in his court now. And just like that the line went dead.

"Edward." I waited. "Edward?!" Nothing.

"FUCKER?!" I shouted looking at the offending phone angrily. Typical son of a bitch. Probably thought he was teaching me a lesson or some crazy shit. And yet my body was still throbbing. Just keep drinking Bella and eventually you'll pass out.

I heard a couple soft knocks at the door. I laughed.

"Alice so drunk you can't open the door?" I grabbed the bottle swaying back and forth to the door. I pulled it open as I was mid drink.

Panic.

My eyes went wide as I stumbled backwards across the room. My back ramming against the wall. I slid to the ground the bottle falling limply at my side.

Edward stood resting his arm against the jamb his legs crossed at the ankle. Arms crossed stretching his shirt across his solid chest. His eyes and grin making my body go aflame.

Well then.

This was the last thing I would've ever imagined happening. How did he even…he stepped into the room making my breathing stop. His foot tapped against the door shutting it behind him.

My brain and body felt like they were in a hurricane. Nothing made sense and I couldn't grasp a hold of myself. And now Edward was standing in my living room while I had consumed far too much alcohol to deal with this right now.

"Hello Isabella." I dropped my eyes down to my lap. This was bad. Very very bad. "Look at me." I had no control over my body as I looked up into his eyes. He smiled smugly.

"How?" I whispered. He feigned shock sitting down on the couch. His feet went up onto the coffee table resting his hands behind his head. The hem of his shirt lifted up exposing a few inches of skin. I licked my lips as I looked at the flesh.

"Uh-uh." He scolded. I looked back up. What was he going to do? "Talk first. Then I'll deal with your obvious disobedience you've shown towards me…later." He winked. My body kept acting opposite of what my brain was screaming at me to do.

I had so far fucked myself today there was no way I could come back from this.

How did he find me anyway?! I'm pretty sure I was present for my half of the conversation and I'd never rattled off my address to him.

"So...how've you been?" He asked nonchalantly. Seriously?!

"Fine." I whispered averting my eyes.

"Fine? You're drunk. My innocent Isabella, drinking. Alone I might add. You know that's not healthy right?" I glared back shaking my head as I took a deliberately long drink as I kept eye contact. This he actually seemed to be pleased about.

"I _was_ drinking at a party. With Jacob." My turn to smirk. Edward's previous glow now fading.

"Jacob? Who?" He sounded relatively calm but I knew the storm brewing under the surface.

"A sophomore. Sexy as fuck. Perfect. We had everything in common with each other. But I suppose you always did manage to fuck up my life." I jabbed standing from the ground shaikly. I stubbed my right toes into the ground as I stumbled forward towards the kitchen.

I didn't miss Edward's flinch to jump up and catch me before I righted myself. He never did let me fall, at least not in the physical sense.

"I don't recall being at this party or I assure you someone would've been fucked up." I rolled my eyes pouring some more of the vodka into a glass before splashing two ice cubes in with it. It had grown too warm to chug.

Maybe I would get alcohol poisoning and die.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you. No matter how much I drank or laughed or talked. Every thought pushed me back to you. And then I read the texts. I suppose the booze worked against me this time. I'd been strong enough to withstand your beck and calls before but curiosity got me this time." I sat at the bar and dropped my face into my hands shaking my head. If only I'd broken the damn thing when I left Forks.

Edward sat in silence thinking about his next move. Always so calculative. And if tonight was going to end the way I thought it was looking, words were going to grow limited before he stared talking and I wouldn't be able to fight anymore. But right now I had the upper hand. So after another gulp, I kept talking.

"It's sick really. Every inch of me craves for you and yet I live in a delusional world where I actually thought you would stop toying around with me and save me from my miserable self. I was wrong. And even worse," He chewed on his bottom lip, just like I had always done. "Look at me." I commanded. His shocked face turned as a small smirk graced his face. I had to say it if I was ever going to heal after this. "I deluded myself so far as to think you would fall in love with me. Because I've fallen so far in love with you that no one will ever be able to replace you." His lips parted slightly as his tongue peeked out to lick his lips. I turned my attention back to my cup unable to continue my stare battle.

I can't believe I just told him I loved him. A secret I've been fighting with my entire life and now he knew. He knew the physical power he held over me, but I don't think even Edward knew the extensive mental hold he has over me. I loved Edward Cullen.

The familiar sound of the couch creaked as his body lifted off of the couch. His turn. I could see his body moving slowly around the table and counter to come and stand directly behind me. His hands found my back and moved slowly downwards. My eyes practically rolling into the back of my head in euphoria. It's been so long since I'd felt his touch. His hands continued their path down my back, over the curve of my and even further down to my thighs and calves. Why were his hand way down there?

I turned not seeing Edward standing behind me but instead he was down his knees gripping the backs of my legs tightly, head turned downward. This was…different. Normally if anyone was going to be on their knees it was going to be me, begging for forgiveness or…for other activities.

"Say it again." His soft voice reached my eyes.

"What?" I could see a faint smile as his grip tightened.

"That you love me." My breath got caught in my throat as Edward remained kneeling.

"What?" He shook his head shaking my legs gently.

"Say it." I cleared my throat as my body began to quiver. It was hard enough saying it the first time. And now he wanted me to say it again. Why?

"I love you Edward." He took a deep breath nodding.

"Again." His voice growing stronger. I chuckled shaking my head. I was way too drunk to be deciphering what was going on right now.

"Edward what it going on?" He growled pulling my legs forward causing my legs to stumble into his chest. His arms wrapped around me tightly as his face pressed into my thighs. I'd never seen him this…submissive before. It felt empowering. Is this what Edward always felt like?

"Say it again Isabella?" I don't think he was trying to convince me of it. But more like he was trying to convince himself. Did he honestly think I didn't love him?

"I love you Edward. You must know that." He sighed kissing my legs before moving his lips up my body until his was standing up on his feet again. His hands came to cradle my face as he dropped the full power of his eyes onto mine. My heart stuttered at this new look I was getting. Something more. Something foreign in Edward.

"Promise me you're not lying to me." I chuckled rolling my eyes. And I thought tonight was going to end up totally different.

"How could you even doubt that? All I've ever done is love you. All I've ever wanted was for you to love me back." A large smile broke across his face. Confused. Very confused. He leaned forward smashing his lips to mine catching me off guard. One hand threaded into my hair while the other one reached down to my ass picking me up onto the counter.

Booze and sex drive kicked in as I started releasing the 2 month tension I've been building up since I'd last seen Edward. His lips hungrily attacked mine as my hands roamed his chest and back. I guess he was taking my confession better than I'd thought. His lips finally ceased their assault as he rested his forehead against mine. His eyes remained closed with a smile still in place. This was the happiest I'd seen him in a long time.

"You don't know how long I've yearned to hear you say those words." My mouth popped open. Seriously? That was the ultimate control over Edward. My love.

"You really thought I didn't love you?" He opened his eyes and shook his head.

"That would be too selfish of an assumption for me to make. You were everything I needed. Everything I couldn't live without. You shined in my darkest of places. Managed to bring out the best and worst in people, especially me. Your strength over me so much more than you'd ever allow yourself to realize. I pushed and pushed because I needed to know. I needed to know if what I'd been feeling my entire life was one sided." My head was spinning in confusion. I pushed him back to get some air. I picked a hell of a night to get wasted.

"I need air." He hummed grabbing the bottle before stepping back to lean against the opposite countertop.

"I'll give you the world." I chuckled shaking my head.

"This is not what I had expected when I saw you standing in my doorway." He nodded taking a drink.

"Likewise love." He took another drink as I was trying to compile my thoughts. The first question I had flared my anger.

"The girls?" He chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"Honestly Isabella, mere rumor which I was disappointed you'd allowed your imagination to believe in. Nothing ever happened with any of those whores. Think about it, just about every night I was with you and if I wasn't then I was waiting for you in the morning. You are the only one who'd ever held…that part of me." My face flared, partly from embarrassment, and partly from the realization that Edward had been just as limited in his sexual experiences as I was.

"It was hard to ignore. Jessica and Lauren boasting every Monday about their sex filled weekends. I suppose it was a bit…unrealistic. But watching you flirt every day in front of me? What else was I supposed to conclude?" He chuckled and nodded.

"Truth? That was always a way to push your feelings along. I'd thought that seeing those girls would make you stand up and say what I'd been trying to coax from you since we were kids." Damn. This whole time wasted because of three words left unsaid.

"The possessiveness? Most girls find that to be a turn off you know." His face grew serious as he crooked a finger at me. My body subconsciously moving forward. My senses piqued at the thought of his hands on me. He shook his head. I stopped.

"Now step back." My stomach knotted in tension as he grinned again. My body now yearning.

"You love it. Plus it didn't hurt that meant I got to make sure all the other boys knew their place around you." I released my breath as his revelation smacked me in my face. A trait which I always thought I'd despised, I craved.

"Well played. How did you find me?" He smirked.

"You honestly thought I'd just allowed you to run and not come after you? I called Alice the day you left. She gave me your address. I've known this entire time but was waiting for you to finally decide if you could live on without me. I knew my pushing would eventually force you to admit your feelings, either good or bad." Fucking Alice! She ratted me out from the very beginning. She and I were going to have to have a conversation about this. On the other side, Edward's known where I've lived for the past two months and hasn't used that information in his favor until tonight. I suppose I'm not as shocked as I should be. Alice was always on Edward's side and Edward was never one to just let it go. If he hadn't known where I lived he would've been camped out at my campus every day waiting to cross paths with me eventually.

"One more question," He nodded taking another drink. I could see his face flush slightly from the alcohol. I took a deep breath needing to get it out.

"Do you love me?" He puckered his lips slightly and shook his head. My heart shattered. I knew revealing myself to him was a mistake. If I'd only kept it bottled inside then I wouldn't have,

"Stop. You don't understand. What I feel for you is so much more than love, saying its love is an insult to what I feel for you. I wouldn't exist without you. I wouldn't want to. My life revolves around you. Love is the simple word for what I feel for you because what it truly is is…wordless." My eyes started to well with tears as he looked down at the ground.

"That was beautiful." My voice coming out hoarse with my tears.

"You're beautiful." He whispered. Now he was just going to turn me into a pile of mush. Had I known this is where my love confession would've led me I would've said it years ago. Then again I don't think I would've appreciated it as much as I do right this moment.

"I'm sorry I left." It was the only thing I could think of to say. He looked back up at me his serious demeanor snapping back into place. That looks a hell of a lot like the old Edward, with a healthy amount of booze in his system. My heartrate picked up and my breathing shallowed.

"When you left I broke. Your college acceptance letter shattered me. I'd worked so hard to make you see me as something more than just a means to gain experience and I'd managed to accomplish the exact opposite. And then you called. I knew I wasn't going to let you walk away again. No matter how hard you ran from me. Do you remember what the last thing I said to you was?" He leaned forward his balance clearly compromised as he stumbled forward dropping his hands on both sides of me on the counter.

Of course I did.

"Yes." He chuckled leaning forward reacquainting his lips to my neck.

"And what was that?" I strained to talk as his lips fogged my brain.

"If I made you come after me, I'd be punished." He laughed pushing his body flush with mine. This was more along the path I'd expected. But now my heart was filled with knowledge I'd never shared with Edward before. He, while confident, was just as naïve to all of this as I was. He was beyond the point of in love with me. And he knew how to make me feel at my most vulnerable.

His arms wrapped around me tightly as the bulge in his pants pressed firmly against my groin. My body reacting almost painfully at how badly I wanted him and how badly I waited for him.

"Good girl. Now if you'd only caved and obeyed me when I told you to meet me in the woods you and I could've been fucking…" he thrust forward giving a light bite on my neck; a soft whimper escaped my lips, "every night for the past two months. But now I'm going to make you beg for me." He pulled away suddenly leaving me breathless as my body arched forward.

Damn him.

He gave a deep laugh as he moved back over to the couch taking swigs from the vodka bottle. You've created a monster Bella. But God how badly I wanted him right now. If Edward got his way, which he always does, this was going to be a long night.

Unless…

I finished my drink and took one last deep breath before walking into the living room standing before Edward. He spread his legs allowing me to stand between them. His arms dropped to the sides as his eyes roamed over my body. Focus Bella. He's been in control long enough. If I wanted this to end I needed to do it now.

"Yes? Would you like to start begging?" He asked. I propped my hands on my hips.

"Edward, I love you and I need you. I want you to take me to my room and fuck me." His eyes closed and his body shook. I grinned. Would it be that easy?

"Unfair Isabella." His teeth ground together as he looked back up at me his eyes glazed over with desire. Keep it going. I reached down and ripped my shirt off. He groaned biting his lip. I stepped back pointing to the bedroom. He huffed shaking his head. I shrugged my shoulders picking up my phone. I turned to walk towards the door.

"I'm sure Jacob will come and pick me up." Your play Edward. I could hear him growl and cross the room quickly snatching the phone from my hand. He tossed it onto the couch as he slammed his body against my back planting me against the door.

"Never. You are mine. Forever. Is that clear?" His hands were frantically groping.

"Hum. I don't know Edward. Prove it." He flipped me around lifting my hands up over my head while his lips assaulted my body.

"Eager for your punishment. You think you control tonight but you're sorely mistaken." I was practically vibrating. I needed contact.

"We'll see." He swooped down picking me up into his arms walking towards our rooms.

"Which one is yours?" He urged. I pointed and he obediently followed. He kicked the door shut with his foot and even locked it for good measure. I suppose Alice is going to be eager about her night with Jasper and having her barge in on, God willing I hope will finally happen, Edward and I would be a mood killer.

He walked to the bed and laid me down gently before laying down on top of me. His hands ran gently through my hair as he remained focused on my face. He looked so happy. And I did that.

"I've been waiting to do this since Alice's 14th birthday party." He grinned. What?! I sighed shaking my head.

"I can't believe you've been holding this in for that long. Do you have any idea," his head came down fast sealing off my final words and making me forget everything up until tonight. Our bodies were folding together as articles of clothing were being strewn as the tension grew. This part wasn't new territory for us. We'd become fairly comfortable with each other's bodies up until the point of actual sex.

His right hand started with my left breast making sure he effectively twisted every nerve in my body. Once satisfied his hand started a downward path across my abdomen, down my thigh, across my growing hot sweet spot, and back. He was subtly thrusting his hip into my leg; with every passing second I could feel his dick growing longer and stiffer. How the fuck was that going to fit inside of me?

"Tell me what you want?" He whispered into my ear before biting the lobe. He was asking what I wanted; something I'd never get used to. Who knows what tomorrow was going to bring. Right now I had the power and the liquid encouragement. I reached down wrapping my hand around him earning a long low groan into my neck.

"You, I thought I made that clear." He laughed biting softly onto my neck leaving a love bite. At least I wouldn't have to worry about my father seeing it.

"I know that love but how do you want me?" He pumped into my hand. I hummed assisting feeling his chest tense. This new control was empowering.

"Inside of me Edward. I want you to take me body and mind," He ceased his thrusting to stare down at me as he removed himself from my palm. "Please." I begged. This was enough to send him over the edge. I also knew he was far more turned on by my submissiveness than the other way around. He adjusted his hips and I could feel the tip of him resting against my entrance.

"You're sure? Once I have you I'm never letting you go." He seemed nervous, and Edward nervous wasn't something I'm used to. Like he thought I was going to disappear again once the sun rose. I grabbed his face and nodded before giving him a tender kiss.

"Positive. I'm not going anywhere. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not forever. I love you and only you. Don't be scared." He rolled his eyes but smiled.

"Grab my forearms. It's going to hurt so I'm sorry. I'm going to go in all at once and then I'll go slowly. Okay?" Now the nervousness kicked in. Of course Edward was going to give the full low down. I think ignorance would've been bliss right about now. "Take a deep breath." He smirked before I felt his full length slide into me. A sharp pain radiated from deep inside and up my stomach. His hips nearly flush up against my own. My fingers had tightened around his biceps as Edward remained stone still allowing me to adjust.

Edward is inside of me; euphoria washed away the final pangs of soreness before I wiggled urging him to continue.

"Ready?" I nodded reopening my eyes. He went slowly, almost too much so. By this point I had wanted him to end my torture.

"Edward please go quicker." I whispered meeting his thrusts. He laughed increasing his speed. I can see why everyone boasts about the importance of your first time and with who. Edward was everything I needed now and forever.

"Isabella, I won't be able to hold on much longer. And as much as I can't wait for you to bear my children I want to marry you first. Are you still taking your birth control?" Leave it to Edward to be completely coherent when I felt like I was about to explode; especially with talks of children and marriage.

"Of course. Since you told me to 3 years ago." It sounded like he gave a silent prayer as he increased his pace again. My moans were coming far more frequently as his grunt continued to push us closer to the edge.

"Come for me Isabella." His hand reached between us and rubbed my throbbing bud. Not long now. His lips assaulted mine now as every thrust pushed me closer and closer to falling. I'd been with Edward so many times leading up until now so I'd gotten used to reading his body. His breathing came in frantic and ragged as he pumped harder than before. The knots started to unravel as my own first real orgasm shook my body. Edward dropped his hot sweaty body on top of mine as he twitched inside of me.

Our late night practice sessions had nothing on what just occurred. I felt so full. I'd wanted Edward for so long and now I had him not only sexually but mentally.

"Come on. Shower time." He sighed slipping out of me before reaching back to sweep me up into his arms. Now the soreness was beginning to kick in. I hoped this feeling didn't last too long because I couldn't wait to do that again. Edward turned the faucet on and cradled me in his arms as he sat down on the ground. The cool water helped soothe my soreness.

"Happy?" He spoke into the top of my head. I nodded.

"Couldn't be any more so." He grabbed a loofa and squeezed some soap onto it before rubbing down my body, careful to be gentle with my sore pelvis. Copper color water flowed away leaving me clean again. Edward finished with his own scrub down and stood leaving me on the ground.

"Stay. I'll be right back." I nodded leaning back against the wall closing my eyes. The water felt so nice. I could hear him walking out into the bedroom. I couldn't have been any happier. Edward loved me; he knew I loved him. And we had sex. After so many years of pining away for his attention I'd finally gotten that and so much more.

The door reopened and Edward's arm poked in turning off the water. Next he opened the curtain and held out a towel for me to slip into. I giggled as he again swooped me into his arms giving a hard kiss as he walked back out into the room. I noticed the bed sheets were changed. Bless him. That was the one part about sex I didn't want to think about.

He pulled back the covers and slipped me underneath removing the towel as I was set down. He took place behind me wrapping me tightly into his arms kissing my neck. Sleep was going to come easy tonight. I'd been stressing and longing for Edward for a long time and now that I've had him I couldn't get enough.

"Goodnight my Isabella. Until the morning." I wiggled myself backwards tighter against him. He groaned and his dick twitch didn't go unnoticed.

"Goodnight Edward." My body fell numb as relaxation set in. If a person could die from happiness.


	6. Chapter 6

**The Next Morning**

"Oh my head." I moaned rolling over dropping my arm over my eyes. Too much booze. A soft snore made me snap up looking at a person laying under the blankets. Edward was laying on his stomach his hair splaying across the pillow. I could hardly contain a giggle seeing him still there beside me in the morning. I loved Edward Cullen and he loved me.

I eased myself off of the bed crumpling slightly as the pain between my legs throbbed. Jesus Edward what did you do to me? I threw on a pair of loose shorts and a tank top unlocking the door and stepping outside. The pungent scent of coffee hit my nose almost instantly knocking my hangover from my body. Alice was leaning against the counter holding an icepack to her forehead. How was I going to break this to her?

"Good morning Ali." She looked up and grinned pointing to my room.

"I tried to get in earlier and tell you about my amazing night with Jasper but I suppose you had an amazing night of your own with Jacob huh?" I chuckled shaking my head.

"I did have an amazing night. But you first." I needed time to think about what exactly I was going to say.

"Well after you so rudely disappeared last night, Jasper took it upon himself to be my drinking buddy. We ended up talking all night long about everything! He's so perfect Bella. I know I've been silly about men before but I think he might be the one." My eyes opened wide at her revelation. Alice wasn't shy to the male gender but she also wasn't delusional. I couldn't help but to glance to her door seeing it shut. Alice giggled nodding.

"Alice!" I yell whispered. She shook her head smiling. I pulled out a mug for each of us as she poured a cup for each.

"Hey you have no room to talk! I knew getting you to go out would be good for you but I didn't think you'd be so quick to jump off the Edward train and onto the Jacob one. Tell me how was it? Did it hurt? Was he good? Are you happy?" I opened my mouth to stop her rant but I was too late to the punch.

"Isabella." I groaned hearing his voice from behind. Alice's mouth popped open as she stared past me to the door. I turned seeing Edward standing in the jamb shirtless and smiling. He lurched forward coming to sit at the bar beside me. He reached over grabbing my coffee taking a sip as Alice pointed between us in utter confusion.

"She was never on the Jacob train Alice." A large smile broke out across her face as she began clapping and jumping up and down.

"Oh my god! It's Edward. Edward is here. What did I miss?!" I shook my head stealing my coffee back leaving him with a pout.

"I was talking with Jacob," Edward growled softly and Alice just smacked his arm wanting to hear the dirty little details. I continued, "and I couldn't do it. Wasn't right. So I left and came home. Continued to get plastered and Edward was texting my phone. I read them and decided to call him." He nodded with a cheeky smile.

"Her first words being 'fuck you Edward'." Alice awed. I sighed.

"I was drunk and Edward was being his naturally charming self. And the funniest thing happened Alice. He was waiting outside our door the moment we hung up." She stopped glancing to Edward. He laughed shaking his head.

"Okay. Look. You were making a mistake and you didn't want to believe me. I knew that Edward not being around was going to be so bad for you. I didn't think however he was going to wait until you finally asked for him." He chuckled. Alice continued to stare hard between us.

"Did you guys finally do it?" She asked. I groaned rubbing my face as Edward dropped an arm around my shoulders.

"More than just that Alice." He spoke with a smile as I glanced at him from the side. She gasped covering her mouth with love in her eyes.

"You finally told him didn't you?" She whispered. I didn't have to say anything to confirm.

"She made me the happiest man on Earth last night. You're either going to be losing or gaining a roommate Alice. I think two months is long enough, right?" She squealed happily jumping up and down. She came around the counter and kissed my cheek before wrapping Edward up in her arms. He laughed looking to me.

"Oh my God you guys! This is perfect! I'm so glad you two finally figured your shit out. I'm so excited. When's the wedding? I can't wait to plan!" He hummed thoughtfully. I'd just had sex with the man for the first time last night. I don't think my heart could handle a wedding yet.

"Soon Alice. Very soon." Edward stated. She started her happy dance all over again.

"Alice?" I looked around the hugging couple to see a familiar man standing in the doorway. Jasper seemed so confused. She pulled back quickly a deep blush taking over her face. Edward hummed blocking me ever so slightly. I suppose that was a side to him which wouldn't ever change.

"Jasper. You're up! This is Bella's boyfriend. Edward." My stomach flipped. Boyfriend. Fuck. We hadn't had that talk yet. I mean I guess that's what we were, right? Edward stood crossing to Jasper holding out a hand.

"Edward. It's a pleasure." Jasper grabbed his hand.

"Jasper. I was concerned I'd committed adultery last night. Glad to see I'm safe. Bella, good seeing you again." Jasper smiled tipping his head to me.

"Jasper." I greeted. Edward moved back beside me taking his normal possessive clutch on me. I rolled my eyes as Jasper was seeing our strange relationship for the first time.

"Don't mind him Jasper." He nodded slowly as Alice laughed pulling him towards the counter handing him a cup of coffee.

"Edward and Bella have known each other their entire lives. And last night they finally got their shit together!" We laughed Jasper still confused.

"I feel like I'm missing a lot of back story." That was an understatement.

"All in good time. I feel like you'll be around for a long time." Alice hinted giving him a wink. Jasper had no idea what he was getting himself into. Edward stood and picked me up from the chair causing me to shriek. Alice awed as Edward walked back towards my room.

"I'm going to steal Isabella for just a little longer Alice. Then we'll go out and get some breakfast." She nodded as Jasper furrowed his eyebrows.

"Isabella?" I chuckled.

"I'll give you the low down." She whispered as Edward shut the door behind us. He set me back down on the bed giving me a hard kiss.

"You know I don't like waking up without you." He chastised. I nodded.

"I know. I was going to make sure Alice was alive. I'm sorry. I love you." He moaned dropping down at my feet.

"That's what I needed to hear." I ran my hands through his hair as he placed his head into my lap. "Are you in much pain?" I shook my head.

"Not too badly. It's satisfying. We're going to have to continue our nightly fuckings after I've recovered from last night."

"That's fine with me; so long as you're not regretting it." I tapped his head causing him to look up at me.

"Never. I told you I loved you and I meant it. I'm yours babe. You're stuck with me." He smiled and kissed my thighs. If he kept at this my recovery was going to be short lived.

"Get dressed. I'm hungry and if I stare at you any longer I'll never let you leave this room again." He covered his amazing body, much to my dismay, and I made myself publicly presentable. Alice and Jasper were waiting and ready for breakfast.

As I popped open the door my stomach dropped. Jacob was standing posed with his hand above his head ready to knock. So not good.

"Bella. Hi. Um I was coming by to make sure you got home alright. You left kind of suddenly last night." I glanced around seeing Edward talking with Jasper as Alice got her purse. I stepped outside shutting the door quickly. I did not need Edward losing his shit right now. Men being around me was something we were going to have to work on but this was too soon. Jacob rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

"Jacob. Hi. Yea I'm good. Thank you. I'm sorry for running out last night. I had some,"

"Things to figure out. Right? How's that's going? I was hoping I could see you again. I had a lot of fun last night." I shook my head slowly. Oh boy.

"Jacob, I'm sorry but,"

"Edward grab Bella's purse. Jasper can you go with Bella outside please." Alice shouted from inside as the door opened up revealing Jasper. He gasped closing the door quickly shoving Jacob down the hallway.

"Dude you need to leave." Jacob seemed annoyed trying to push back towards me. Only a few seconds more until they were out here and I couldn't promise Edward wouldn't be pissed about the guy I'd almost slept with last night was now standing at my door.

"What the hell man?" Jasper looked to me apologetically.

"I'm sorry Bella." Jasper was beginning to grow on me. I don't know what Alice told him but it must've been enough to explain Edward didn't do so well when it involved me and other men.

"It's alright. Jacob I'm sorry. I got an unexpected surprise last night. You're a great guy but my heart already belonged to someone else. I'm sorry." He nodded understanding the gist.

"Right. Okay. I guess I'll see you around then. Bye." He sighed shaking his head as he turned and walked back down the hallway. The door behind me opened to Alice and Edward standing looking between Jasper and me. Edward's eyes then focused on Jacob's retreating back.

"Isabella, what's going on?" I grabbed Edward's hand tightly. Alice said a quiet fuck as Jasper stood back by her side.

"Nothing love. Let's get breakfast." He scrunched his eyebrows staring at Jacob who turned back giving a smile. Edward looked to me and it wasn't hard to make the connection.

"Jacob." Edward shouted. He stopped again this time turning to Edward. I held on tightly. Please don't.

"Yea?" He responded. Edward took a step forward.

"Edward don't." Alice tugged on the back of his shirt.

"Thank you." He smiled dropping an arm around my shoulders. He shook his head walking away. I released the breath I'd been holding.

"That was very mature of you Edward." He nodded.

"He was too far away for me to do anything. Besides without him Isabella never would've called me. Of all the boys I've been forced to deal with in her life, he's probably the only one which helped me out the most." Leave it to Edward to take some sick enjoyment out of this situation.

"Alright. Enough drama. I'm hungry." Jasper joked and grabbed Alice and nudged Edward's shoulder forward. Edward smirked and nodded. I think Jasper might be Edward's first real boyfriend. Exciting!

"Thanks for the delay Alice." She giggled as we all walked down the hallway towards the elevator. Edward held me tight in his arms are we descended to the parking garage. His head resting on my shoulder as he spoke.

"I may not have been able to teach him how much you're mine but I'll be reminding you as soon as we get back." Alice rolled her eyes smacking his arm. Jasper laughed.

"Jesus Edward leave the poor girl alone. It takes time for that shit to heal. And it's not like Jacob was the one in her bed this morning." Edward frowned shaking his head.

"In my opinion. If I were in Edward's shoes, I'd be doing the same." Edward chuckled and patted Jasper on his shoulder tipping his head.

"Spoken like a true man. Thank you Jasper." Alice's and my mouths opened in shock. He just called someone a man. Jasper looked between us confused.

"Did I miss something?" Alice and I stared on in shock at the amazing thing which just happened. We both shook our heads. Edward was amazing me more and more every second.

The elevator opened and Alice tugged Jasper out skipping.

"Isabella I love you." I smiled turning around holding his head in my hands.

"I love you." He gave a kiss before pulling me out of the elevator towards a new life, together, and in love.


End file.
